All Out Of Love
by McJinx64
Summary: Post Season 7 Fic  mostly Merder . Derek is still angry with Meredith for destroying their Clinical Trial. Won't their separation ruin the chances of adopting Zola? Will our favorite couple survive Meredith's mistake?
1. Chapter 1

**All Out Of Love**

Chapter 1

_It isn't because I think I will be happy alone; it is because I think if I love someone, and if than it falls apart I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love, and then you don't have it, what if you like it, and lean on it, what if you shape your life around it, and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage, it's like dying, the only differen__ce is, death ends, this… it could go on forever._

_Quote by Meredith Grey_

_**Meredith**_

It was three in the morning and for some strange reason, sleep seems to be a rare commodity when one becomes a new parent. I awoke with a start, still sitting in a chair. I frowned because Derek used to say that in my sleep, nothing short of an apocalypse could wake me but that seemed to have changed overnight. Each sound coming from the porta crib and invisible alarm bells started going off in my head. I stood up and looked into the crib but to my surprise Zola was still fast asleep. She had kicked off her blanket though so I carefully tucked it back around her. I watched her for a while when my vision suddenly blurred. I blinked twice before I realized tears were rolling down my face. I tore my gaze away from Zola as the sudden heartache in my heart overwhelmed me; _I missed Derek_. I sighed and tiptoed to my nightstand to check my cell but there were still no messages. Sighing again, I climbed into my empty bed, burying myself under the covers. I stared up at the ceiling and listened to Zola's even breaths but despite her presence, I felt more alone than ever before. When I awoke a few hours later, the sun was already hitting the curtains in my window, bathing the bedroom in soft glow. I swung back the covers and got up. When I passed the mirror, I sighed; my eyes were dark, like I hadn't slept in days; in fact; I looked like crap. I put on my robe and tied the sash finding my slippers at the end of the bed. The second, Zola heard me, she squealed with joy. I picked her up and she gave me a big toothless smile that made me feel a little better.

"Let's get you something to eat, sweetie. You must be hungry?" With Zola on my hip, I made my way to the kitchen. A quick glance in the living room proved that Cristina was already gone. I set Zola in an improvised high chair at the kitchen table as I dug out a baby bottle and formula from the diaper bag. I poured the correct amount of scoops of formula into the bottle and filled the rest with water. When the micro wave beeped, I lifted Zola from the high chair and fed her the bottle. She briefly mewled and then she started sucking greedily.  
>"Yes…here you go. You're such a pretty baby and you have the prettiest eyes, I've ever seen," I spoke softly to her. Zola slightly cocked her head, trying to make sense of what I was saying. I smiled down on her as she emptied her bottle in minutes, gurgling happily. In the bright kitchen, she stared up at my face with that peculiar fixed stare that babies sometimes have. It was sort of soothing, watching her. After a while, Zola closed her eyes and her mouth went slack. I put the bottle on the table and lifted her to my shoulder. She gave a soft belch as I carried her back to my bedroom. I laid her down in the porta crib and she immediately took her pacifier, closing her eyes. When I turned to go, I spotted Derek silhouetted in the doorway, dark hair backlit, unable to read his expression. I swallowed hard and walked past him; my heart pounding and my pulse thudding in my ears. In the kitchen. I drank a glass of water while I waited for him. I watched him walk back up the hallway towards the kitchen when his cell rang. He gave me a look of frustration then held up one finger indicating I needed to wait. I heard him answer the phone then his voice went too soft for me to hear. I washed out my glass and stared out the window.<p>

"So…you took her home!" He said from right behind me, startling me a little. I turned around and studied his worrisome face. I lifted my hand and gently touched my fingers to the dark circles under his eyes. "Yes…they've granted us temporary custody. I've tried to call you but you weren't answering your messages."

"Meredith..." Derek tore his gaze away from me and turned his back to me. "You know why I need some space…I'm only here to pick up some clothes."

"What?" I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "I get that you're angry with me but…moving out? We have a baby now. You have to help me take care of her!"

"YOU'VE MESSED WITH MY TRIAL," Derek yelled, turning around and getting right to the point.

"I know but you also know why I did it," I tried.

"Because you don't know the difference between right and wrong," Derek mumbled incoherently.

"Damnit Derek…SHE CALLED ME ELLIS…Adele thought I was my mom…the one who ruined her marriage!" I exploded, losing my patience.

"I AM TRYING TO CURE A TERRIBLE DISEASE," Derek screamed back at me. "WHAT IF _**YOU**_ HAVE ALZHEIMERS'…WHAT IF _**YOU**_ CAN'T REMEMBER WHO _**I**_ AM?" He yelled back. My head snapped up to look at him in disbelief. "GOD…I KNOW IT WASN'T THE SMARTEST THING TO DO," I yelled with tears threatening to fall, "BUT I CANNOT UNDO MY ACTIONS…DEREK, I'M SO SORRY…BUT, YOU HAVE TO KNOW…I WOULD DO IT AGAIN…No one should…get…," My voice cracked against the words, "…Alzheimers'!" Tears of frustration and anger pushed at my eyes, my pupils glistening. Derek noticed but he shook his head, lifting his bag and leaving the house.

**Derek's POV**

_How can you forgive your wife?__ How many times can she say, I'm sorry for what I did…I should have talked to you when I had the chance? How can she say those things when she has probably destroyed her only chance at a healthy, long, lucid life?_

_Quote by Derek Shepherd_

Indescribable anger coursed through my body as I dropped in the driver's seat and started the engine of my Jeep. The vision of a destroyed clinical trial provided more than enough adrenaline to put my foot down on the gas pedal to speed towards the Hospital. I clenched my fists tightly on the steering wheel, staring at the thick rain splattering against my windshield when a sudden memory sprang into my mind, "_I worry every minute of every day that you wrap your car around a pole…your driving is something you can control_!" With a sigh, I eased up the gas pedal and let my car slow down considerably. When I arrived at SGMH, I parked my car behind Richard's and sat still for a long moment just listening to the purr of the engine and the rain splattering on my roof. I closed my eyes and the image of Meredith holding Zola in her arms came back into my mind. Just the sight of her and Zola brought tears to my eyes. "Damnit Meredith," I groaned, smacking my fist against the steering wheel. I shut off the engine, grabbed my overnight bag and walked towards the hospital. A few moments later, I walked down the hallway towards Richard's office where a delegation of men was waiting and ready to interrogate me about the clinical trial. I gave a soft knock on the door and entered.

"Ah…Dr. Shepherd, we were waiting for you," Richard said amicably while he gave a short nod to the chair sitting opposite the three waiting men.

"I came the minute you called Chief. I'm fully aware of the importance of the matter," I assured everyone in the room before I sat down.

"Morning, Doctor Shepherd. My name is Dr. Sam White. I'm from the Ethics committee overlooking your Clinical Trial on Alzheimer's' disease. Could you please explain to us what happened on April 28?"

I cleared my throat. "The first real Clinical trial for Alzheimer's started here in Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital. According to the protocol, we've administered the real medicine and placebos to a number of patients. On April, 28 we've administered the medicine to patient 22. It was afterwards that we were informed that the medicine and the placebo were replaced".

"Can you give us the name of the person who switched the samples?"

I gave Richard a quick look but then shook my head, "I don't see why this would be of importance to this matter?"

White grimaced and then turned to his colleague on the right. He lowered his voice to a whisper so Richard and I couldn't hear and then turned back to me.

"I'm afraid you don't understand the seriousness of this case," Dr. White began. "Sure I do," I replied, "…but nothing has changed. When I administered the drug to patient 22, I didn't know, the samples had been switched. The Clinical Trial has never been in any real danger and I don't see why I cannot continue. Until now, the medicine has shown no negative results. It would be a great loss, if I had to stop now!"

I sat there and listened to them talk for an hour and a half about ethics, procedures and disciplinary actions before they finally left with the promise I would hear their decision about the trial before the end of the month. I leaned back and let out a breath, briefly closing my eyes. When I looked up at Richard, he smiled encouragingly and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't be too hard on Meredith, Derek. I will be forever grateful that she gave Adele the real medicine instead of the placebo."

"I'm moving out," I said, staring at my hands.

"WHAT?"

"Come on Richard. There's a great chance, we'll be shut down for her stupidities. I was well on my way of finding a cure for one of the ugliest diseases we know…a disease that killed her mother and…" I shook my head and stared at the floor.

"You're not angry with Meredith…you're angry with the disease. You're afraid that she has the Alzheimer's gene. Don't push her away because she might get sick, Derek. You'll never forgive yourself. If I had known that Adele would develop Alzheimer's disease, you think I wouldn't have married her? Richard shook his head and squeezed my shoulder again. "Please think about what I've said." I nodded and slowly rose from the chair.

Richard's words kept playing through my mind when I walked down the hallway. I turned the corner when I saw Cristina approaching.

"Whyl did you leave her alone last night?" She asked, irritation clear in her voice. Dark eyes spit fire at me and I wondered if I should explain myself to her.

"It's none of your business, Cristina. This is something between me and Meredith!"

"You men…are all the same," she snarled, her gaze suddenly focused on Owen Hunt who came behind me. Owen grabbed Cristina around the waist and hauled her up against his chest. With a sharp jab, her elbow connected with his jaw and Owen tumbled to the floor. The air left his lungs in a swoosh and as I helped him up, we both stared at Cristina in awe as she ran in the opposite direction.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**Meredith's pov**_

_I__ really had trouble holding on…_

Sitting on the living room couch, I stared straight ahead; completely oblivious to my surroundings. In the two weeks past my suspension, my heartache for Derek had turned into a deep, dark feeling that hung around my shoulders like a lead cape. I longed to climb into bed and curl up into a ball of misery beneath the covers and shut out the rest of the world…but the truth was…I couldn't; I had Zola to think of. It had not been easy being a mom but the feeling of being part of something bigger than myself, had in fact made it a little easier…until now. I sat in the living room on my couch, gripping my hands together and closing my eyes. Without realizing, my upper body began to jerk. Lowering my head, I hunched my shoulders and hugged myself tighter, but the jolts came stronger and faster. A small, choking sound tore from my throat and unable to subdue the sobs any longer, I gave in to the gut-wrenching tears, I'd been holding back for weeks now.

"Mere…?" Cristina who'd been studying in the den, hurried towards me. She rubbed her hands in slow circles over my back, "Come on…_**he's**_ not worth your tears." Her words made me cry even harder and the sobs seemed to come from the depths of my soul. It took me quite some time before my tears finally ran dry and my sobbing slowed to watery sniffles and shudders.

"I'm…s…sorry. I didn't mean to…c…cry," I mumbled.

"Don't apologize…you know I'm here for you," Cristina said while she handed me a tissue.

"Thanks," I whispered while I got up from the couch. "I'm going to check on Zola and then I'm turning in…OK?" Cristina nodded. I was halfway up the stairs when the doorbell rang. I heard how Cristina opened the front door and a heated conversation followed. I bit my lower lip and slowly walked back downstairs. I didn't want to eavesdrop but was curious who was at the door. I heard Cristina's voice and she sounded determent, "No…you cannot see her. I won't let you upset her even more!" I immediately knew who the late caller was... I took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway to face Derek. I turned to Cristina and gave her a quick nod, "It's OK." Cristina rolled her eyes but turned on her heels and gave Derek and me some privacy.

"Hey," I said quietly.

"Hi," Derek said with his hands in his pockets and his head down. We stood in the hallway for a few seconds, when he finally looked at me.

"Sorry…I haven't called," he softly said.

I shrugged my shoulders, "You said you needed space."

"Yeah."

"Why don't you come inside?" I asked. Derek nodded, closing the front door behind him. He sat down on the couch and I went next to him, sitting down as well with one leg folded up under myself.

"So," I said looking down, "Why are you here?"

"What brings me here? What do you want me to say Meredith? What do you want to hear?" He asked, his words throwing me back a bit.

"I'm here for Zola," he said, looking down.

"Oh," I breathed, biting my lip at what he was saying. Derek stood up and walked around the room, "I have every right to see her…she's my daughter too, you know?"

His words cut through me like a knife but I swallowed and nodded. "She is…and if you've missed her that much, why you haven't called earlier? I…we haven't heard from you in two weeks…two weeks, Derek!" Narrowing his gaze, Derek walked over to me, crossing his arms defiantly across his chest, "I thought it was better if we both took some space," he said softly. I turned my gaze to Derek, our eyes locking. Sapphire versus emerald, two pairs of glistening gems that either failed to look away. Images of our past reeled through my mind, like the pages of a book fluttering in the wind.

"I've missed you, Derek." I said softly while I took his hand. I didn't expect an answer so I pulled him towards the stairwell that led to Alex' old room where I'd made Zola's nursery.

_**Derek's pov**_

I stood in the doorway of the nursery and gazed at Meredith. She was changing Zola's diaper and blowing on her little tummy to make her laugh. When she finally looked up at me, she gathered Zola in her arms, "She needs her last bottle…do you want to give it to her?" Zola reacted enthusiastically at my sight and Meredith surrendered her to me. "I'd love to!" I said, tickling Zola's stomach causing her to giggle.

Several bottles of milk lined one shelf of the refrigerator. I held Zola in one arm while I heated up one of the bottles in the microwave. After testing its temperature, I dropped into a living room chair, cuddling Zola close, giving her the bottle. She took it at once and I settled back against the chair. Zola stared up at me with wide, trusting eyes and I couldn't tear my gaze away from her.

"You're daddy's little girl," I whispered to her.

Zola blinked up at me; only the sound of her suckling filling the house. When the bottle was nearly empty, her eyes drifted shut and I softly retracted the bottle from her mouth. I looked up and caught Meredith's gaze. She walked over to us and softly stroked Zola's head.

"I think its best when I turn her in."

I nodded, handing the baby to Meredith but when they had left the room I felt an emptiness I had never felt before. I closed my eyes wishing the feeling would go away but it didn't…

"I'm glad you came over."

I looked at Meredith while tears clouded my vision.

"I've missed you too," I softly said.

As I stared at her, a tear formed in each of her eyes, then falling to her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. The air drained from my lungs and I felt like drowning. I felt dizzy but fought it off as I watched Meredith's face. Several emotions at once seemed to be fitting across it. She looked surprised…and hurt…and sad. And I realized I was feeling the same emotions too. I drank in the vision of Meredith, and in no more than three seconds I had closed the distance between us. For a moment, we were frozen, locked in each other's gaze but then I pulled her over.

"_What did Shepherd have to say?"_ a voice echoed through the hallway.

I quickly pulled away from Meredith and faced the intruder; it was Cristina.

"Oh…you're still here."

I nodded and let out a small smile. "I am…nice to see you too, Cristina!"

I managed to mumble a goodbye through my mouth as I made my way to the front door. I hesitated and let go of the knob, turning around to face Meredith.

Is it OK if I call you tomorrow?"

Meredith nodded lightly before she turned around, walking up the stairwell.

It was cold outside, so I pulled up the collar of my coat, hurrying to my car. I drove through the silent streets of Seattle wondering what would have happened without Cristina's interruption. The thought kept crossing my mind the whole way back to Owen's place and when I got there, I was so agitated I pushed open my car door to slam it shut behind me.

_**Meredith's pov**_

"Well…what did McDreamy have to say for himself?"

"Not now Cristina. I'm tired." I mumbled while I pushed down the door handle to my bedroom.

"I really don't get you, you know that. One glance at McDreamy and you're right back swooning for him again," Cristina huffed at me.

"Swooning for him? Yes…I love Derek. He's my husband and we have a child together now. You know…I don't get _**you**_…you've had it all, Cristina; a loving husband and a baby on the way but no…you rather pursue your career. You know how many nights, I've prayed for a baby of my own? YOU were pregnant…twice…and both times you didn't want it…there is something like birth control, you know?" I shook my head and sighed, "Cristina…I'm sorry, I snapped at you. It's just…I miss Derek and we were about to make amends when you walked in."

Cristina shrugged her shoulders with no reply and turning, walked away. I groaned and slowly entered my bedroom, switching on the light. Slipping into my tank top and cotton pajama pants, I made my way to the bathroom where I quickly brushed my teeth. It was then when I heard my phone ringing from the nightstand.

"Hello," I answered softly, almost positive it was a wrong number, especially this late at night.

"Mere…it's me!"

The sound of Derek's voice excited me as I felt chills covering my body, "Hi," I said softly, almost positive, he could hear the excitement in my voice.

"Mere…tonight…I…," I could hear him struggling to find the right words,"… I really liked spending time with Zola…and you!"

"Aren't you mad anymore," I murmured.

A rush of fluster rushed through me as I heard Derek's voice on the other end, "We'll talk about it later…I just want to wish you a good night OK?"

I nodded, "OK…sleep well!"

"I will…see you soon."

I put the phone down and smiled to myself. I slipped under the covers when my cell suddenly beeped, signaling me I had a text. I quickly snatched my cell and read the text:

W e w i l l g e t t h r o u g h t h i s. S w e e t d r e a m s. D.

With butterflies in my stomach, I put my cell away and fell asleep...

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy...I only wish**

**First I would like to thank you for your lovely comments ;-) I'm glad you like the story. I guess, a post season 7 fanfic is what we need to get us through the Summer. Hope, I'll find the time to update regularly. Please enjoy the third chapter...no lifethreatening situation but sure something, I'd love to see on the show! **

**Have a nice week!**

**McJinx64**

Chapter 3

_**Meredith's POV**_

A soft knock on my bedroom door woke me but I couldn't respond. I kept my eyes closed because my head hurt enough even with them being closed and along with my head, my chest, my throat and pretty much everywhere else hurt too. "Mere…?" came Lexie's muffled voice from outside my door, "Haven't you heard? Zola's crying!"

Beads of sweat started rising on my forehead and I groaned in response. Lexie entered my bedroom and moments later, I felt her cool hand on my forehead, "God…you're burning up". Gagging on the sudden acid rise in the back of my throat, I managed to bring out, "Bucket!" Lexie looked around and then grabbed the waste bin. I emptied the contents of my stomach in the bin, resting my forehead against it and concentrating on each next breath. _Don't pass out…breathe…breathe_. Lexie rubbed the back of my neck, her cool fingers soothing the flush of heat that instantly washed over me. After seeing me vomiting, she yelled, "JACKSON…get Zola out of her crib and feed her a bottle…but don't bring her in here…Meredith's sick!" Every joint and muscle in my body ached and my head started pounding even harder. I swallowed hard and opened my eyes, "Lexie…call D…Derek! Ask him…if he can take Zola? Just a few days…till I'm feeling better!" Lexie glared at me for a moment before sitting next to me. She placed the back of her hand on my forehead again and bit her lip. "I'll be right back!" She walked into the adjoining bathroom and I could hear her rummaging around in the medicine cabinet and the cupboards beneath the sink. Moments later, she returned with a thermometer. "Open your mouth!" I took the thermometer without complaining.

"Are you still feeling sick to your stomach?"

I nodded. My head hurt abominable, and that in turn made me nauseous. When Lexie pulled the thermometer out of my mouth, she nodded while she determined my temperature. "You're definitely running a fever. I'm going to get you some Ibuprofen and water. I want you to drink it so you don't get dehydrated…OK?"

"OK," I croaked, feeling extremely sorry for myself.

"I'm also going to make a quick call...OK? Don't worry about Zola…We'll take good care of her!" I nodded and gathered my blankets around me, huddling into a fetal position. I was feeling cold despite my high temperature but it was hard to think straight with the hammering headache I had. What seemed an instant later, Lexie came back with a large glass of water and a couple of pills. "Take these…they'll help you sleep." I raised myself unsteadily on one arm and the cold air shocked my body as it flowed under the blankets. Lexie gave me the pills and I put them in my mouth with some difficulty. When I had swallowed them, my arm collapsed and I lay where I fell. Lexie carefully covered me back up. "I'll check on you later…OK?" I nodded and Lexie turned off the lights in my room, semi darkness settling over me. I wrapped my bedding tightly around me in an attempt to keep warm and the last thought I remembered before blacking out, was Zola.

_The light of the sun coming through the window__s fell on my feet, waking me with its gentle warmth. I looked around the room, realizing something wasn't right. I heard a pair of feet padding outside my bedroom door. I watched expectantly as the door opened. The sight I beheld was one I would never get tired of. Derek walked toward me, pausing as he crossed through the sunbeam streaming into the room. His naked body glowed with an internal light, his skin illuminating and his perfect hair forming a halo around his head. His well-developed muscles stood out in bold relief, the sun accentuating every curve. He gestured to me with a smile and I crawled out of bed to join him. I entered his embrace and he pulled my naked body tightly to him, molding his body to mine for the most skin contact possible. Our lips met gently, the kiss…one of tenderness and love slowly turning into a passionate battle that neither of us was attempting to win. Derek picked me up and returned us to the bed where he lay on top of me. I relished the feeling of his weight pressing down on me and wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him closer. He began to move against me, slowly at first, and then with increasing urgency. Our breaths became ragged and heartbeats fast and I knew it was only a matter of time until…_

"_Meredith…are you awake?"_ A soft voice cut through my consciousness and I started to open my eyes. Derek was looking down at me with a worried look. I wanted to say something but when I opened my mouth, I found that it was dry beyond belief and I was unable to make a sound. I pulled my hand up to my throat and tried to swallow but instead I started coughing until I nearly choked. Derek gently patted my back while I felt drops of perspiration fall down my temple below the collar of my night shirt, making its way further down my chest. My body was damp with moisture and without warning, my whole body shivered.

"Take in deep breaths," Derek said, a worried crease above his brow. "Here…have some water!" Derek helped me up and I drank little sips of water until the coughs subsided. "Better?" Derek asked, while he stroked my hair. I nodded and let myself fall back into the cushions. Derek put the glass down on the nightstand and made his way to my closet. He opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a pair of clean pajamas. "Can you sit up…I need to get you out of these wet pajamas. You've been sweating like crazy from the fever!" I nodded and a little hesitantly, I started to undress but I caught my breath in pain.

"Here, wait," Derek said. "Let me do it." He put his arm around my back and slid me down slowly until I was flat on my back. "OK…I'm gonna slide these off of you. Tell me if it hurts, OK?" He hooked his fingers inside the waist band of my sweatpants and gently pulled them down, taking my panties, which were also wet, with them.

"Derek…," I mumbled. "I can do…it…myself."

"No, you can't. Come on, Mere…it's not like I haven't seen you naked before." Derek finished pulling the sweats and panties completely off and walked over to the bathroom to put them in the hamper. When he returned, I had a clean pajama and a fresh pair of panties on in seconds. "Thanks," I whispered while Derek helped me lay back again, tucking the blankets tightly around me. "You're welcome. Now…try to get some sleep. I'll check on you from time to time OK…I'll be in the living room." Derek was almost at the door, when I remembered… "Derek? Where's Zola?" He smiled and walked back, sitting down on the bed. "My mom came over this morning. She's watching Zola as we speak. Don't worry…she's fine!"

_**Derek's POV **_

I went into the living room and switched on the television. When I went back to the bedroom, about half an hour later, I found Meredith fast asleep. I stood in the doorway and quietly watched her. Her forehead glistened again with beads of sweat but she wasn't shivering anymore. It was strange seeing her so vulnerable and to be honest, I wanted nothing more than to comfort her despite how angry I'd been with her. I watched her for a moment and then decided to lie down beside her in case she needed me. I woke up a couple of hours later to the sound of Meredith's cough. She was sitting upright, rubbing her chest with one hand and holding her head with the other as she coughed. I sat up and gently patted her back which seemed to help because her coughs slowly subsided. "Thanks," she whispered hoarsely while she rested her feverish head on my shoulder. "Are you cold?"

"Hmmm."

"I'll be right back…OK?" I tucked her back under the covers while I took the thermometer from the nightstand, holding it in front of her face. She put the thermometer in her mouth without commenting. Only a minute later it beeped. I took it out of her mouth and read: 103.4. I showed her the read out and she grimaced.

"I'm going to get you some Tylenol…they'll help you feel better." Meredith nodded weakly while I went into the bathroom. She swallowed the Tylenol with water and I also poured her a dose of cough syrup in a spoon. She swallowed hard and made a face. I grinned and tucked the blankets around her shoulders but she threw them off. "No…too hot!" Beads of sweat were soon breaking on her forehead and upper lip and I could feel the heat radiating off her body. I nodded approvingly, "Good! You're fever is breaking…that's a good sign."

"I feel weird."

"I know baby. Just rest now. Do you want me to stay with you?" Meredith nodded and I got into bed holding her. She was almost like a furnace; her skin hot and moist, but her hands and feet, ice-cold. I pressed a light kiss to her warm temple and she looked up at me with glistening eyes, "I'm glad you're here," she whispered before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

I woke up when early morning light began to filter through the curtains. Meredith lay against me, wrapped in my arms, the rhythmic feeling of her chest going up and down in her sleep. When the light in the room grew brighter, she stirred and I reluctantly let go of her. "Derek?" A weak and scratchy voice broke the silence in the bedroom. "Hey," I whispered while I reached out a hand to feel her forehead. Meredith was still feverish because her complexion was flushed and her eyes glassy.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. Meredith blinked slowly and then frowned. "Like someone hit me with a baseball bat," she whispered. I smiled and brushed still sweat soaked bangs away from her face.

"Do you need anything?" Meredith nodded but curled more into herself under the blankets. "What?" I frowned. "I need to…pee," she whispered shy fully. I grinned and wrapped my arms around her slender frame, lifting her and carrying her to the adjoining bathroom. I waited until she'd flushed the toilet and then I carried her back to bed. "You need a clean pajama…wait here!" I got up and got a pair of clean pajamas and a bowl of warm water. I set the bowl on the nightstand and helped her getting her pajamas off, covering her with a blanket. Dipping a washcloth into the water, I wrung it out and wiped the sweat from her face, then repeated the procedure with her neck, shoulders, breasts, belly and legs. I was careful to keep her covered the whole time so she wouldn't get chilled then I dried her off and helped her into a pair of fresh, clean pajamas. Meredith sighed and I could see that she was feeling slightly better. I put my hand on her forehead an while she was still unnaturally warm, I could tell that her fever was down.

"I'm tired," she said, closing her eyes. I smiled and as I watched her, she drifted back into calm, healing sleep.

To be continued...Hey and don't forget, suggestions or ideas are always welcome...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. **

**Just a short chapter but definetely one, worth while ;-) Please enjoy!**

Chapter 4

_**Derek's pov**_

As I walked into the kitchen to get Meredith, a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice, my cell phone rang. I flipped it open and resting it between my chin and shoulder, I opened the door to the refrigerator. "Shepherd?"

_Derek, it's me…Richard. I just received a call from the Ethics board concerning your clinical trial._

"What?" I gripped my cell tighter in my hand and listened to Richard explaining the Ethics board's decision.

**… … … … …**

"OK…No, I understand… Yeah…Meredith's doing much better. OK…talk to you soon!" I closed my cell, sighing and slowly sitting down at the kitchen table. I felt how my calm demeanor slowly slipped and frustration welled up inside of me, "Damnit," I muttered to myself. I shook my head and took in a deep breath through my nose before picking up the glass and heading back to the bedroom. Meredith was lying in bed with closed eyes. She had more color to her cheeks though and her fever had broken. When she heard me, she opened her eyes and smiled, taking the glass from my hand. I watched how she slowly sipped at the drink, clearly enjoying the feel of the cool, liquid slipping down her throat. When, she was finished, I placed the empty glass on the nightstand and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at her. She smiled, "I'm glad these awful headaches are…," something in my gaze suddenly caught her attention and the words stilled on her lips. "Derek? What's wrong?" My eyes went over her and I clenched my jaw, "They've stopped the Trial!" I heard how her breath caught in her throat then she placed a hand on my shoulder softly whispering, "I'm sorry I failed you but you know why I did it." I groaned annoyingly, got up and started pacing the room. I knew I should have been pissed…and deep down, I probably was. And at some point in the future Meredith and I were going to have it out about what this could mean for her future but now at this moment, only one thought went through my mind…well two actually.

_I__ loved Meredith a_nd _I wanted a future with her and Zola…_

So, instead of yelling at her again, or leaving, I put aside all of the crap, I was feeling and sat down on the bed again, "It's OK Mere…I'm not mad…not anymore."

"You're not?" Meredith said softly with a look I couldn't decipher. I smiled slightly, my jaw relaxing before I continued, "And…I'm also sorry for my behavior over these past couple of weeks." Meredith looked at me in surprise and I assured her again, "I am really sorry for having been such a JERK!" She smiled at me through the shimmering tears in her eyes and I leaned in to kiss her but she pushed me away, 'No..no kissing. I don't want you to catch what I have." I chuckled and rested my head against her shoulder. "Get well soon," I whispered in her ear as I felt how my heart raced against her hand. I heard her contagious giggle and knew she was well on her way to getting healthy.

_**Meredith's POV**_

An immense feeling of relief had washed over me, when Derek explained to me he wasn't mad anymore. Now, I was alone in my bedroom because he had left for the hospital to talk to Richard. He wanted to know if the Ethics boards would still allow SGMH to organize future clinical trials. Before he'd left, I had to assure him over and over again; it was OK to leave me for a couple of hours. Sitting upright in bed, I stretched my arms above my head, sighing. I had tried reading a book but simply couldn't concentrate; my mind kept drifting off. How long had it been since I'd had a real bath? Throwing the covers aside, I swung my legs out of bed and stood. I still felt a bit dizzy but I figured it was from not eating. I shrugged my shoulders and slowly walked into the adjoining bathroom. I closed the door behind me and caught my reflection in the mirror as I hit the light switch; I had definitely lost some weight. I kicked off my slippers and dropped my pajamas to the cold tile floor turning on the faucet. I tested the water's temperature and slowly sank myself back against the wall of the tub, letting the hot water envelop me, relaxing all my muscles. I closed my eyes and smiled against the soothing feeling. I tilted my head back to wet my hair and then poured some shampoo in my hand. The shampoo foamed up richly as I massaged it into my hair. After I rinsed, I gently squeezed the water from my hair, squirting a small amount of lavender conditioner in my hair; the smell Derek loved so much. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the warm water on my body.

"_Meredith_…?"

"In here…." Derek entered the bathroom and quickly closed the door before letting in too much cold air. "Hey," I softly said. "Hi," Derek smiled, dropping to his knees until we were eye-level. He leaned in towards my hair and closed his eyes, "Hmm…I love that smell!" "I know," I giggled while I looked at him. Slowly, a wicked smile lit up on his face and he started to unbutton his shirt. "Hey…what are you…?" Before I realized what was happening, Derek had stripped off all of his clothes and gingerly stepped into the tub behind me. He eased down into the warmth carefully and settled in so my back nestled against his chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear, "You know how long I've wanted to do this?"

"The tub is too small for us," I muttered but loving the feel of his arms around me.

"Really?"

"Yes…but there is something you can do for me?"

"What?…Just say it."

"Rinse my hair…I still have to get this conditioner out of my hair."

Derek dipped a plastic cup into the water. "Close your eyes!" He slowly emptied the cup over my hair and repeated the process several times. The water trickled tantalizingly down my neck and shoulders and as the water ran clear, I felt how Derek trailed his lips down my shoulder. I shivered at the sensations and felt how Derek tightened his grip on me; pulling me closer to him. I could feel how his chest hair brushed against my back and the stubble on his jaw brushed lightly against my ear as he kissed my neck. I closed my eyes as he started brushing a sponge around my hips, abdomen and thighs.

"Derek…," I moaned.

"Someone needs to do it," he breathed in my ear. He trailed his lips up to kiss me behind my ear and then drew the tip of my earlobe in his warm mouth. "I love you," he murmured. I shivered and Derek grinned, reluctantly letting go of me. "Let's get you out of here before you get sick again." We got out of the tub and Derek helped me getting dried off. Moments later, I was back in bed with my back pressed against his chest, spooning into him. Derek wrapped his arms around me, nuzzled my hair, breathing me in.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he pulled the blankets over us. "Mmm, yeah," I murmured. "Thanks!"

"You're welcome," Derek whispered sleepily. We lay in bed, enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other, slowly drifting off into a soft and dreamless sleep.

**To be continued...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

Chapter 5

_**Derek's pov **_

Running a hand through my sleep tousled hair, I stepped into the nursery, grinning at the surprised expression on Zola's tiny face as she looked up at me. Her chocolate brown eyes grew big and a wide smile appeared on her face, while she wrapped her little fists tightly around the rails. I opened the curtains and snatched a diaper from the stack near the foot of the crib. I picked her up and laid her down but she loved kicking her legs around and lying absolutely still for a diaper change wasn't something she liked very much.

"Come on Zola…work with me. Mommy's still sleeping so it's just you and me this time." I looked around and on one the shelves, I spotted a pink, stuffed monkey. I picked it up and held it close to Zola, nuzzling the soft animal's nose against her tummy. She squealed and made a grab for the toy. She held it tight and during the time, she was distracted, I managed to throw the old diaper away, wipe her toosh and open a fresh diaper, quickly sliding it into place and taping it closed, "Here you go." I lifted Zola to my chest and she wrapped her little arms around my neck, resting her head against my shoulder. I dropped a soft kiss on her head and inhaled her scent that was powdery and sweet. After I fed Zola a bottle and had some serial myself, we got dressed. I held a finger to my mouth, lifting Zola and leaving the house. We drove for a while and when I finally spotted the big neon sign I was looking for, flashing in front of me, I nodded satisfyingly. I took Zola from her car seat and placed her in a shopping cart. Inside, Zola's gaze raked across what looked like miles of shopping aisles and her eyes grew even bigger. I fisted my hands on the cold steel bar of the shopping cart and started stacking boxes into the cart. Elevator music drifted out of the store speakers and every once in a while, a voice cut into the music, shouting about a bargain to be had, somewhere in the store. The shop was filled with whining kids, begging their parents for whatever they wanted but Zola sat satisfied in our shopping cart. She simply couldn't get enough of all the coloured stuff around her. She stretched out her little hands and I was so touched, I grabbed a doll from the shelf and put it into her little hands.

**… … … … … …**

_**Meredith's pov**_

I woke up around noon, still sniffing a bit so I took a tissue from the nightstand, blowing my nose. Luckily my fever and headaches were gone but I still felt a bit wobbly from the flue that had held me in its grip for a whole week. Stretching out my arms, I yawned, slowly getting up. I slipped into my old bathrobe and made my way downstairs. When I reached the hallway, I heard Derek's voice echoing through the living room while Zola squealed for joy. I opened the door and stopped dead in my tracks. The living room looked as if a baby store had exploded. Stunned, my gaze went from one item to the next; a pink baby tricycle, two giant stuffed teddy bears, a stack of still unopened boxes and a mountain of baby blocks...and right in the middle was Derek sitting with Zola. I didn't know who had more pleasure…_Derek or Zola_?

"Derek…what is this?"

"Oh…look who's awake Zola? It's mommy." Derek handed Zola to me and softly kissed my cheek. "Feeling better?" I nodded while I shook my head chuckling. "You're already spoiling her." Derek grinned and got up. "I'm going to fix her a bottle…can you watch her?" I nodded while I sat behind Zola, wrapping my arms around her small body, gently rubbing her cheek, "You like the toys daddy bought for you, huh?" After the bottle, it was time for Zola's nap so I changed her diaper and dressed her into a warm sleeper, gently rocking her to sleep. When she started drifting off, Derek took her from me and carried her upstairs to the nursery. When he was upstairs, I looked around; the living room was a mess and I started picking up toys. A few moments later, Derek entered the living room again.

"Mere…come one. I'll take care of it…you shouldn't strain yourself too much." I turned to Derek and looped my arms around his neck, resting my head against his chest, "Have I told you lately, how glad I am that everything is OK between us?" Derek wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. "Several times…but I can't hear it enough." He tilted my chin with his finger and looked into my eyes. Then his gaze dropped to my mouth and his lips came down softly on mine, tender and caressing. It was our first real kiss in weeks and I felt tingles in my tummy. Just then, there was a soft sound coming from the nursery and I sighed. Derek grinned and reluctantly let go of me, "I'll check on her. When Derek went upstairs to check on Zola, I rubbed my legs which were still a bit sore. When Derek entered the living room, he caught my painful expression. "Are your muscles still sore?" I nodded and before I knew what happened, Derek scooped me up in his arms and carried me upstairs to our bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and turned up the heater. When the room was warm, he started to untie my bathrobe. I protested but Derek put his index finger on my lips, "Shhh…just let me." When I was only wearing my panties, he went into the adjoining bathroom, "Be back in a second!" When he returned, he held a large, fluffy towel and a small bottle.

"Turn around," he ordered.

I frowned but turned around, resting my head on a pillow. He covered my lower back with a towel and then started rubbing his hands together. He poured some oil on my back and began kneading my shoulders with one strong hand. I placed my arms crossed on the bed and rested my head on them. Derek continued the slow massage down my back, along my spine and my lower back. When he moved to my buttocks and legs, I sighed audibly.

"Sore?"

"No," I whispered softly. "Your doing a great job, …please continue."

_**Derek's pov**_

Pouring more oil into my hands, I continued massaging Meredith's sore muscles. After a while, I noticed she had closed her eyes and I assumed she had drifted off to sleep. I grabbed a blanket and carefully tucked it around her but she opened her eyes, smiling up at me. I looked at her and couldn't help myself…I kissed her. Meredith responded by eagerly wrapping her arms around me. I felt her hands at my shirt and then there was that moment when her skin met mine; we hadn't made love in months and the feel of her body against mine, enlightened a fire inside me. I slid my hands along her hips and stroked her softly. When I kissed her breasts, she softly moaned and when I touched her leg and applied the gentlest pressure, she shifted it to one side, granting me more access. In seconds, the world narrowed to our bedroom, our bed and the places where our bodies touched. When I softly touched her most intimate place, she softly moaned. I watched her; her pupils dilated with passion and her eyes gleaming in the dim light. A flush spread upward from her breasts to her cheeks and I slowly ran a fingertip from her forehead over her nose, then down to the valley between her breasts; _God…I had missed this chemistry between us_… When Meredith touched me as intimately as I touched her, I tensed. She slowly stroked up and down, almost driving me to madness. I rolled her over, taking my weight on my arms. I saw how she held her breath as I moved gently against her. I watched her as I slowly sank into her warm, womanly depths until we were completely merged. I slid a hand between us and started caressing her while I slowly started thrusting inside her. When her little moans faded into panting breaths, I let myself go, thrusting again and again until we were both sated and drained, and even then, I didn't want to stop...

_**Meredith's pov**_

I felt Derek's contractions deep within me; a lovely sensation that joined with the aftershocks of pleasure he'd given me. When he held still, I sighed, tenderly caressing his back.

"Mmm…thank you," I mumbled satisfyingly. I felt Derek's silent laughter when he moved to my side, taking me with him so we remained as one. "Give me a minute…I'll show you heaven again," he promised. Again, I felt his soft laughter. I smiled, then yawned, suddenly too drowsy to even hold open my eyes.

"Don't ever leave me…" I softly whispered.

"Don't be afraid…I'll intend to hold on to you…_always_."

"That sounds like a promise?"

"It is."

Derek stirred and I felt him harden inside me. I heard tiny sounds but was only vaguely aware they were coming from me. Derek took my mouth in a crushing kiss, plunging his tongue into my mouth. The motion of his hips around me and the current we were riding became a boiling tidal wave. I clung to him, arms and legs enfolding him, my legs tightening with each thrust urging him to go deeper. My entire world narrowed to those inches of flesh buried deep inside of me, I heard Derek's whisper, "Mere…I…I can't wait…much longer."

"Then don't, I whispered. "Come…with me." I heard Derek moan as I felt him swell. When he burst inside me, he cried out my name and with a breathy little whimper, I went soaring after him. I only heard panting, my own moans and the long groan of Derek's satisfaction. When I finally came back to myself, Derek's arms were wrapped tightly around me. He smiled, "You're not going to faint…are you?" I giggled, "I might…but I'm glad you're here to catch me."

_**Derek's pov**_

Meredith's leg bumped against me, then her arm, pulling me from my sleep. She stirred restlessly in my arms, moaning under her breath.

"Mere…?"

She lay still again, sliding back into the comfort of a relaxing sleep. I brushed my fingertips along her cheek, gliding over the soft lines of her features. Leaning closer, I pressed a gentle kiss just above her eyebrow. "I love you," I whispered softly. Her body twitched again and I slid my hand soothingly along her stomach. She moaned in her sleep and pushed my hand away, "No…don't."

"Don't what?" I mumbled. Meredith thrashed her head from side to side, "No…don't…go."

"Don't go where?" I whispered. She softly whimpered and her legs jerked, obvious signs of a nightmare. I removed my hand from her stomach and wrapped my arms around her, "Shhh…Mere, wake up. You're having a nightmare."

"Please don't leave me…Derek…please?"

Meredith's whimpers held a plea that struck the core of my soul. _She was afraid of me leaving her_; _God…I'd been an ass_. I closed my eyes as Meredith shifted in my arms, her hands instinctively seeking me. I pulled her closer as her pleas softly dissolved into soft whimpers again. It was then, I made a promise to myself; _I would never leave her again_…

Meredith had drifted off into sleep again when I heard Zola's muttering on the baby phone. Switching off the baby phone, I slipped into my boxers and hurried to the nursery. I took Zola out of her crib and held her to my chest.

_**Meredith's pov**_

When I awoke, the bed beside me was empty. I got up, slipping into my old bathrobe, tiptoeing to the nursery. Quietly, I pushed down the door handle. Light from the hall, let me see Derek, sitting in the rocking chair with Zola nestled against his bare shoulder. They were rocking back and forth rhythmically, Derek murmuring a song of which I only caught a whisper. His eyes were closed and his cheek rested against Zola's curls. I swallowed hard; the picture of Derek and our daughter bringing a lump to my throat. Zola was so precious with her knees drawn up, pressed against Derek's naked chest. A lock of dark hair fell over his forehead, the golden light from the hall casting shadows beneath his cheekbones. I stood as frozen in the doorway of the nursery when Derek finally opened his eyes. We stared at each other as Derek slowly eased to his feet. Zola never lifted her head, stirred only slightly when Derek placed her back in her crib, gently covering her with the soft weight of a blanket. He tiptoed silently toward me on bare feet, holding his index finger to his mouth. I retreated into the hallway until my back was against the wall. Derek paused to pull the nursery door closed behind him, leaving just a crack for light to spill in, and then he faced me.

"That was so sweet," I whispered.

Derek smiled and looked at me, reaching for my hand and placing it on his chest. I splayed my fingers, flattening my palm. I felt his heart beat; fast and strong. Derek wrapped his arms around me and kissed me; a kiss between eternal lovers. His fingers dove into my hair and cupped the back of my head. I uttered a soft moan and slipped my arms around his neck. It was then when he whispered in my ear. "I love you Meredith Grey…forever and always."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Hi y'all,**

**Continuing the fic...although Derek's clinical trial has been shut down due to Meredith's actions, the story isn't over yet. Please, read the next chapter and if you can spare a minute, let me know what you think. **

**McJinx**

Chapter 6

_**Meredith's POV**_

Every few seconds I felt my chest flutter, a sign of my nervous anticipation as I prepared to meet my fellow residents after my period of sickness_. Please, don't let __**her**__ be too angry with me_…I thought to myself while I opened the door to my locker. How clearly could I remember that evening at my house? I only had to pause and close my eyes to be drawn back to that evening filled with anger and harsh words; it was as though I was reliving it all again; the resentment in her eyes and my accusations…but I would soon see her again; Cristina Yang; my friend…_my person_. I sighed and slowly started undressing, balling my clothes in a corner of my locker and retrieving my scrubs. I slid the blue top over my head and tied my scrub pants before pulling my hair back into a messy ponytail. Suddenly, the door to the locker room slammed open and rapid footsteps rang out on the linoleum floor,

"Hey, Meredith…you're back!"

"Oh…Mere, you're here…finally."

"Hi, Meredith."

My fellow residents and the new Chief resident entered the locker room; greeting me and making me feel glad to be back. April Kepner friendly patted my shoulder and I nodded in confirmation. I slammed my locker shut, spun the lock and looked around but Cristina was not among the residents that gathered around the Chief resident. I frowned but listened intently as April started out handing out orders, "Jackson?…You're with Doctor Bailey today; Lexie, you're with Sloane, Alex, you're with Robbins and…Meredith…?" April looked down on her notes. "You're working the pit today…er..." April looked as if she was going to say something more, but after a moment's hesitation, she turned away.

"Uhm…April," I said formally, looking up with a quick little smile," Do you know where Cristina is?" "Oh…er Meredith, I'm glad you're back but I already said that huh? Er…Cristina, yes. She called in this morning…she'll be in a bit late." I nodded and left the locker room, making my way down to the pit. Standing at the desk of the emergency room and clearly distracted by an interesting article in his Neurology magazine, stood Derek, not at all registering the commotion in the ER around him; at least not until I stepped up to the desk,

"Hey."

Derek's eyes lit up when they met mine, a small smile on his lips. "Hey," he said, "How's your first day back?" I shrugged looking up at him, attempting to smile but I failed miserably. He looked me full in the face and tilted his head, his brow furrowing, "What's wrong…is it Zola? Are you missing her?" I shook my head and took in a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. "No…it's not Zola. I've just been up to the daycare center to check on her. She's doing fine…it's…_Cristina_?"

"_Christina_?" Derek mumbled. "What about her?"

I looked around, grabbed Derek's hand and pulled him into an empty exam room. He placed his hands on my arms and set me an arm's length away from him, "Tell me," he said, his voice gentle but firm, like his grip on my shoulders. "I…we…," my voice trailed off under Derek's serious gaze. "She and I…we had a fight; I accused her of being selfish for aborting the baby."

"What baby?" Derek looked quizzically. I sighed and explained how Cristina had confided in me she was pregnant but also how she gave preference to her career so she had an abortion." Derek listened to me and when I was done, he lifted my head with his hand, our eyes locking instantly. He gave me a long, measured look, his eyes narrowing then he finally whispered, "She had what _**you**_ wanted. That's why you reacted the way you did; you want a baby of your own!"

"I'm happy with Zola…I love her like she's my own," I whispered, lowering my eyes. Derek's soft hand caressed my face and I looked up; our eyes both wet with tears. Just then, he put his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. "I know you love Zola like she's your own…and someday we may even give her a brother or sister," he said softly. I nodded and a small smile escaped me.

"What?" Derek said softly.

I shook my head, "Nothing… _I love you_."

He hugged me but in the corner of my eye, I saw Cristina walking by. Derek noticed too and reluctantly let go of me. "Go…Go tell her how you feel." I nodded but before I left, I gave him a quick peck on his cheek.

I made my way down the hall and as I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairwell, I glanced across the hallway at the door of the ventilation room, which to my surprise stood open. I stopped and moved quietly across the hallway to the wall opposite the ventilation room. There, standing on one of the vents, stood Cristina, her clothes and hair swirling in the wind.

"What – _in heavens name_ – are you doing?"

Startled, Cristina looked up at the sound of my voice while strong winds gusted from the vent. But as suddenly as they'd begun, they also stopped. She sighed profoundly as she stepped off the vent, shrugging her shoulders. "I sometimes come here to clear my head," For a while, neither of us spoke nor could we bear to look into each other's eyes so we both stared at the vent that gusted wind from time to time.

"Are you and Derek together?" Cristina asked after a long while.

"We were never apart," I answered softly. "Not really."

"Good." she sighed.

"Cristina…I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry for the things I've said."

"I know," she simply said. "…And it's OK."

I looked at Cristina and she looked back; neither of us able to stop smiling. "Do you want us to hug it out?" She made a face at me but grabbed my hand pulling me onto the vent. Moments later, the vent started and I could feel a blast of icy wind gusting through my hair and clothes. I burst out in giggles, holding Cristina's hand, glad that things between us were the way they should be...

_My first trauma_, I thought to myself in a rush to meet the incoming ambulance. _Please let it be something good…_

After fixing things with Cristina, I'd been working the pit all morning and although I loved working in that hectic department, it was now time for a good adrenalin rush. I wanted more than people who just needed an immediate fix. I wanted bloody surgeries where I could display my skills.

"Come one, people…let's move," Owen Hunt yelled behind me. By the time we'd reached the ambulance bay, two paramedics were already tugging a stretcher out of the back of the vehicle. "Possible overdose," one medic reported. "Fifty-four-year-old female with a trauma to the head; PB is…" I noticed the vital signs as I gazed down on the woman lying on the gurney, recognizing her immediately.

"It's the Chief's wife," I stammered.

"Let's go," Hunt ordered and while I grabbed the side of the gurney, we scurried off to the nearest available trauma room.

"Do we know what she's taken?"

The paramedic shook his head. "Nope….but we found these next to her." Owen took the small tubes and my brow furrowed as I recognized them. "Oh God…no," I gasped. Owen turned to one of the nurses. "Call the Pharmacy and ask-".

"Don't bother," I interrupted. "It's a drug for Alzheimer's…but it has not been approved by the FDA…_and it probably never will._" I added softly. Owen's blue-eyed gaze met mine over the gurney and I read his unasked questions.

"The Chief must have taken them after they've shut down the trial, "I guessed nervously.

"Get Shepherd in here," Owen yelled.

"Can you hear me Mrs. Webber?" I whispered to the Chief's wife. "You're in the hospital and we're going to take good care of you." She blinked and when Owen issued orders for lab work, I hung around and helped the nurses organize Mrs. Webber's tubes.

_**Derek's POV**_

"He did…_what_?" was all I could ask. The memories of my clinical trial; the feelings of the patients; their hope, their pain; my fights with Meredith, all of it came rushing back like a flood. Those three months of the trial burst through my mind like a fresh wound all over again when Owen informed me that Richard had probably taken the remaining trial drugs. Adele winced when I pried her eyelids open, flashing a penlight into her eyes.

"We have to get her to an OR," I snapped.

Owen, Meredith and some nurses helped the Chief's wife slide over onto the operating table as a surgical team gathered around. They stood quietly while the anesthesiologist administered a dose of fentanyl that would render Adele unconscious. When I went into the scrub room, Meredith followed me. Without saying a word, she tugged me into a sterile gown and snapped gloves over my scrubbed hands but I noticed how her hands trembled.

"Meredith…calm down. We don't even know if he's used the drugs on her. He couldn't have administered them at home. Maybe, Adele just fell and hit her head. Listen! I need you do to something for me? You have to find Richard. Can you do that for me?"

She nodded and I watched how she left the OR then I took a deep breath, hit the button with my elbow and took my place at the operating table across from the rest of the team. Heat started prickling in the back of my neck when I asked for a scalpel. Two hours later, I stepped back from the operating table, ripping off my gown and tossing it into the hamper. Nurses wheeled Adele into the intensive care unit while I went on my way to find Meredith- and hopefully Richard.

**...**

Silently Richard sat down on the bottom step of the stairwell, burying his head into his hands and letting his elbows dig into the muscles of his legs. I shuffled downstairs and sat down next to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. He squeezed my hand and there were tears in his eyes when he looked up, "How's she doing?"

"Adele is going to be fine," I assured him. "She had a small subdural hematoma from the fall she took…nothing serious. A sigh of relief escaped Richard's mouth as his features visibly relaxed. "God, thank you Derek…I was so worried." Richard's hand went up to wipe his eyes. For a moment I looked away from Richard, thinking of the trial drugs they'd found at his house.

"Richard," I softly began. "Isn't there something you need to tell me?" A loud sigh that I could even feel through my entire body, came from Richard. A sad expression came over his face and a sad smile formed on his lips as his voice came out soft when he spoke. "I wish I could say I didn't take them…but Derek, I did. I've taken the trial drugs because I knew; they were going to destroy them. I couldn't let that happen…Adele must have found them."

For a moment, everything was silent, the sound of me scratching the side of my chin, the only thing audible. My head felt heavy, aching, tired. I shot Richard a glance, raising a brow at him.

"Since, I've take them, nothing helps me sleep at night. I'm surprised; I've been able to function at all lately." Richard's words were spoken so softly, I had trouble hearing them. He drew in a deep breath before he rose and faced me, "I'm stepping down as Chief, Derek…I don't know how Adele's disease will progress but I do know, she needs me!

"You know, I have to report this to the FDA," I said, looking up at Richard. He nodded thoughtfully, emotions playing in his eyes. _Anger. Resentment. Regret_. By now, I was too exhausted to care. Richard strode away without saying another word...

**To be continued...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Have fun reading...McJinx**

Chapter 7

_**Meredith's POV**_

I put a clean diaper on Zola while she yawned sleepily. Softly I chuckled, securely fastening the straps. "I guess you're ready for bed, huh sweetie?" Zola yawned again in agreement and looked up at me with big eyes. I scooped her in my arms, showering her with kisses while I carried her to her crib, carefully tucking her in. I found a pink toy monkey at the end of the crib and placed it in her arms. She tightly hugged it before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. I watched her for a while and during that time, I felt my heart swell with happiness and love for this child that came so suddenly into our lives. I silently shut the nursery door and crossed the hall to my bedroom. It had been a busy day at the hospital and I felt tired too. For a moment, I hesitated but quickly, I'd made up my mind to take a nap before Derek would come home. Walking into my bedroom, I quickly stripped down to my T-shirt and panties before crawling into the bed and closing my eyes.

"_Isn't it a bit early for bedtime?" _

I sat up with a start and in the dim light, I could see Derek moving towards me; his fresh cologne traveling ahead of him, "What are you doing here?" I asked in surprise. "I thought you had a meeting at the hospital?"

"I did." I heard him sigh before he leaned down and pressed a kiss at the top of my head. "You know what? I'm going to take a quick shower and then I'll tell you all about it, OK?" I nodded while I watched how Derek moved into the adjoining bathroom, leaving the door open on a crack. Biting my bottom lip, I eyed the bathroom with growing curiosity but Derek had obviously decided to take his time. After ten minutes or so, I carefully got up and tiptoed into the bathroom where steam clouds had filled the small space. Derek stood under the hot spray, eyes closed and a slightly sad and overly tired sigh escaping his lips. Without noticing me, he raised his head and let the water pound against his face. I frowned, biting my bottom lip. _What had happened at that meeting_? I slid open the shower door, the sound alarming Derek. He looked down and threw me a startled look.

"It's just me," I said softly entering the shower without really seeking permission. Without saying a word, Derek pulled me to him, moving down so fast for a kiss, I braced myself for the impact. His mouth came down on mine and when I gasped for air, his tongue slid hungrily inside. Hot water hit my neck and quickly trickled down my shirt. Within seconds, the fabric clung to my skin while water made its way down my body in little streams. Derek let go of me and his eyes slowly traveled up and down my body before settling on my face. I frowned because there was something in his blue eyes that brought an unfamiliar feeling to my stomach.

"What?" I softly asked.

Derek shook his head, eyes closing again. A little worried, I grabbed the hem of my soaked shirt, tugging it over my head before getting rid of my panties. Softly, I sighed as the hot water touched my bare body but then I stepped closer to Derek, putting my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest. He reacted almost instantly, wrapping his arms around me and holding me. For minutes, we stood motionless under the spray, so many questions poised on my lips, but I couldn't quite bring myself to ask them.

_Was __he still mad about the trial?_

_Was Richard in trouble?_

_Would Adele be OK?_

_OK…t__his was really silly_.

_We needed to talk..._

Slowly, I started rubbing Derek's back in circles noticing each muscle I touched, was tight with tension. My fingers rhythmically slithered down with the water and back up again until I felt, he finally relaxed a little. When I snuggled closer to him, he shuddered, grazing his lips across my temple then easing away from me and looking at me.

"_I really need you, Mere…_," I heard him whisper hoarsely. I frowned but reached around him to turn the shower off. Water dripped off my face and trickled down the curve of my spine in a lingering caress. Derek sighed and brushed a strand of hair away from my face, curling it around my ear. I leaned into him, watching his pupils dilate before I softly kissed him. His lips came down on mine, and he kissed me like a man who was dying and this would be his last kiss. Without breaking our kiss, he scooped me up so I was cradled in his arms before carrying me back into the bedroom. Our bodies were still wet when he lowered me onto the bed. I lifted my head and found him hovering over me, his eyes no more than slits and his jaw rock-hard. His lips brushed against mine in a passionate way that made my toes curl and when he touched me, a jolt of sudden desire shot through me. Something hard and masculine bumped against my hip and I bit my bottom lip as I saw the proof of his arousal. I clutched at Derek, feeling the silk of his damp hair. When I trembled, he looked up, the raw need in his eyes striking me hard, "_Derek…what_-". But he shook his head and slid his body on top of mine. "You smell so good," he whispered, brushing his lips over mine. "God, I want you!"

_**Derek's POV**_

The moment my lips touched Meredith's, I was lost. Everywhere our bodies touched, I felt heat and I was on fire with need to thrust deep into her. I bent my head and kissed her again, savoring the taste of her mouth. The feel of her naked, wet body under my chest made me achingly hard. Meredith slipped her arms around me, returning my kisses with a passion that sent heat and desire through me. I settled between her thighs and pressed my manhood against her entrance. She moaned softly, parting her legs wider, giving me easier access. I kissed her slowly, taking time to caress and rub against her before I pushed slowly inside her. I took a brief moment to enjoy the feeling of being inside before I pressed my hips forward. When I'd filled her completely, I closed my eyes savoring the delight of being fully buried in her warm, most heat.

_God, she felt good_.

I wrapped my arms around her, found her mouth and slowly began making love her. She moaned softly against my lips, lifting her hips. She clutched at my buttocks, encouraging me to go even deeper. I groaned, repeatedly thrusting into her. She was tight and hot and her feminine walls clung to my erection as if they'd been made for the sole purpose of giving me the most intense physical pleasure. Meredith moaned and trembled with desire. I felt how heat, desire and passion quickly built inside me, threatening to overwhelm me and explode into the most intense climax ever. I clutched her tightly, thrusting hard into her, my entire world centering on her.

"Oooh, Derek," Meredith suddenly moaned, shattering under me, "Mmm…oooh, God, Derek…pleeeaase."

Finally, I could stop trying to hold back my orgasm. Burying my face against her neck, I thrust into her with short, rapid strokes, finally exploding. My release was so intense; I collapsed on top of Meredith, feeling weak but so much better than before. Meredith tenderly stroked my back, kissing my lips and cradling me close as I trembled in her arms. "It's all right," she whispered to me. "Everything's going to be OK."

Reluctantly, I rolled off of her and onto my side while she pressed her body against my back reaching her arms across to hold me. I drifted off to sleep with her lips against my back and her tender arms around my waist.

**...**

I awoke from an uneasy sleep a little over an hour later, my thoughts bothering me again. In the moonlight, I saw Meredith lay on her side, not touching me but mesmerizing even in her sleep. Cursing my inability to control my thoughts, I slid out of bed, walking over to the window and staring outside. _They'd made me an impossible offer_.

"Derek?"

Her voice startled me and I turned to look at her. The moonlight didn't extend to the bed so I couldn't see her face but I could see her sitting up in bed.

"Derek…what's going on?"

I was silent for several moments. When I spoke, I noticed my voice was uncertain, "They want me back as Chief of…Surgery." I sighed, raking a hand through my hair.

"_What_?" Meredith took one look at me and scrambled to her feet, wrapping the bed sheet around her body and shuffling towards me. In the moonlight, I watched the surprised look on her face. I sighed and nodded, feeling blood rushing up the back of my neck at the memory how the board had made me the offer.

_Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital was a goner…no more funding…no more trials…they'd given up on __the place…and on me…_

It took much effort to keep my face expressionless so I took in a deep breath. "Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital is no longer considered as the hospital with the best teaching program. The FDA has decided we're not allowed to organize Clinical Trials for a period of five years and in the ratings, we have dropped considerably."

Tears sprang to her eyes so I wrapped my arms around her.

"Do you want to be Chief?" she whispered.

I shook my head and stood staring at her. "I dunno." She leaned into me and kissed my cheek. "You were an excellent Chief Derek…and if there's any one who can save the hospital from its downfall…it's YOU!" I smiled a weak smile and leaned down to kiss her on the corner of her mouth. "Thank you."

Meredith nodded her head in the direction of the bed, "Come back to bed…we can talk about it in the morning." She stroked her fingers through my hair and I nodded, cupping a hand against her cheek and looking down into her eyes, "Have I said lately how much I love you?" She cupped her palms over my cheeks, lifting herself on her toes and kissing me. As we kissed, I slipped my arms around her, scooping her in my arms and carrying her back to bed.

**To be continued...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy**

Chapter 8

_One of the most difficult things in life is__ having to choose between two things you love. Sometimes your heart and head just cannot come together to make the right decision. However, when it comes to being in love with two things, then you have to decide on only one…or risk losing both. No one can tell you what choice to make…only your own heart can make the right decision. But there are certain things that can make your choice easier and that involves being painfully direct to the person or persons you love. _

_Quote by Derek Shepherd_

_..._

Meredith was sitting on the couch, cuddling Zola in her lap and brushing her lips across her curls. I sat cross-legged on the floor in front of them, entertaining Zola with a range of funny faces. Sometimes, I blew a soft breath into her face and she'd blink and giggle. Moving closer I bent down to kiss her little feet and she squealed with joy while she jerked them away. I repeated the process several times until Zola started to yawn, putting her little fists to her eyes and rubbing them.

"Sleepy time," Meredith smiled, kissing Zola's cheek as she got up. I stood up too and kissed Zola's forehead while Meredith headed towards the stairwell.

"Meredith, wait…," I took a deep breath and held my arms out for Zola, "I wanna tuck her in." I smiled as I took Zola from Meredith's arms. She giggled, blowing little spit bubbles while her little hands grabbed at my hair.

"Little rascal," I grinned while I carried her upstairs into the nursery. After putting her down for the night, I walked into the bedroom to get my watch I'd left on the nightstand. By now, I'd gone more than a couple of hours without thinking of the offer the board had made me but now, I would do anything or everything to get my mind off the fact I had to make a choice between being Chief or a brain surgeon. I sighed and made my way down stairs slowly. When I reached the living room, I saw Meredith sitting on the couch.

"Sit with me?" She asked.

I sighed and slowly closed the distance between us. When I sat, she put a hand on my knee before lifting her face to mine, "Are you accepting the board's offer?" I bit back an audible sigh. "I hate the fact that I have to choose between being Chief and being a brain surgeon. I know that when I'm Chief…my operating days are as good as over…and I don't know if I'm willing to give that up. On the other hand, it's an incredible challenge…bringing Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital back on top…I know I can do it!"

Meredith gave me a long, intensive stare, "Yes, if anyone…_**you**_ can! But there's more…," she softly added. "I can see it in your face."

"_Meredith_." I offered her an apologetic smile before I reached out and brushed her cheek. "We're in the process of adopting Zola…and I would never jeopardize that…you know that. But you have to realize that…when I'm Chief…," I slowly shook my head. "…I'll be working a lot of hours. I don't know…if I can do that to you…or Zola?"

When I looked up at Meredith, I saw a combination of confusion, and pain and what might be anger on her face as I gazed at her.

"Derek? What are you saying?" She narrowed her eyes as she got off the couch. "NO," she said firmly. "Are you saying we should not adopt Zola?"

I sighed tiredly, rubbing the back of my neck, "No…that's not what I'm saying but we have to be realistic. You're a resident…I'm a surgeon and we _**do**_ work a lot!" I reached across the couch to squeeze Meredith's clenched fist but she jerked her hand away.

"Derek, what are we doing? We can't adopt a child. We can barely make it a week without fighting." She stared at me and I could see the frustration on her face. "I don't want this anymore," she whispered, blinking rapidly.

"Mere…?" I said softly, getting closer and resting a hand on her shoulder. "The last thing I want to do is make things harder for you. It's _my_ decision and no matter what happens…we're adopting that little girl up there." A single tear slipped down Meredith's cheek and I swore quietly. My hand moved from her shoulder to cup her face, my thumb sweeping across her cheekbone, catching her tear.

_**Meredith's POV**_

Derek felt so warm and strong and I could smell his aftershave. Instinctively, I turned my head, seeking more of his fresh scent. His lips grazed my temple but I froze and so did he. For a long moment, there was nothing but the heavy beat of blood in my ears, then I heard his voice.

"Meredith…?" He said my name, his voice deep. I saw him lower his head and I knew, I should step back or at least turn my head away, especially since we were fighting. But I couldn't do either of those two things. Instead, I lifted my face, closed my eyes and waited… Derek's lips were warm and firm yet gently. He kissed me lightly, his hand sliding to the back of my neck, drawing me closer. When he let go of me, his eyes searched my face.

"I'm sorry…I didn't-."

I leaned forward and pressed my fingers to his lips. "Don't…we'll talk later about this OK…I just don't want to fight anymore…OK?"

"Meredith," Derek began but again I pressed my fingers to his lips.

"No," I whispered.

Derek's hand came up and pulled my fingers away from his mouth. "I'm not doing it…I'm not taking the offer. You and Zola…you are everything to me. I'm not giving up on us!"

I swallowed a lump of emotion as he wove his fingers with mine. Derek shifted his head and I saw shiny streaks on his face. He was crying.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"So am I."

We held each other so tight it hurt. Derek kissed my temple, my cheek, my mouth. I kissed the tears on his face, rubbing my cheek against the stubble on his chin.

"I love you so much, Derek."

"I love you, too. Let's never do this again," he said softly.

I sniffed back fresh tears and made an effort to pull myself back together. I squeezed Derek tighter and pressed my face to the angle of his neck.

"Let's go to bed."

He tilted my chin with his finger and kissed me fiercely.

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Shepherd."

_**Derek's POV**_

I awoke from my sleep to the sound of a door opening. I squinted at the glowing digital alarm on the nightstand. _Three in the morning_. I guessed Meredith was going to the bathroom so I rolled to my other side, hoping I'd be able to kill a few more of the short hours till dawn with sleep rather than staring at the ceiling like I did last night after making love.

"_Derek_…?"

My heart slammed against my chest as I heard her voice, lowered to a whisper.

"Derek…you awake?"

I sat up, seeing Meredith's body silhouetted in the doorway.

"Now…I am," I whispered back.

"Good…because there's something I have to tell you…"

I frowned while I stared into the darkness.

_She had to tell me something? She'd been up in the middle of the night. What had she been __doing? Maybe, she was angry again…or maybe she just wanted to talk._

I started to get off the bed but she was already moving toward me. I settled for pulling my knees up as she sat down beside me.

"I know what you have to do," she said triumphantically. I could see her face now my eyes were adjusted to the darkness in our bedroom; Meredith was smiling, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Confused, my eyes searched her face.

"You have to take the offer," she exclaimed excitedly. "You should become Chief." My eyes went wide and she smiled again.

I rubbed my eyes and stifled a yawn. "What?"

I listened intently while Meredith told me why she wanted me to accept the position of Chief.

**...**

I placed my head back on the pillow, looking at Meredith; so many feelings roaring through my head. I felt lighthearted, excited, bursting with hope for the future. And most of all, I felt the warmth of my wife's presence. And it felt…right!

**Excited to find out what Meredith said to Derek? **

**Come back when I continue this fic...wishing you all a nice sunday! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy**

**Have much fun reading ;-)**

**...**

Chapter 9

_**Derek's POV**_

Today, the time had come to present my dreams and hopes to the SGMH's board. They'd offered me the position of Chief of Surgery and – _after talking to Meredith –_ I was inclined to take them up on the offer…provided they would accept my demands. I took a few deep breaths and opened the door to the M&M room where a delegation of the board was waiting for me. Inside, I began writing down my demands onto a flipchart and with each demand I wrote down, I could hear whispering from the board members behind my back. When I'd written down my last demand, I looked down at the floor to gain my composure, then I took a deep breath and cleared my throat.

"Good afternoon, Members of the board…"

**…..**

I hurried down the hallway, my face blushing with excitement. "Lex…have you seen Meredith?" I gasped, slightly out of breath. Startled, Meredith's younger sister blinked up at me, "Uh…I thought I saw her at the nurses' station."

"Thanks," My body twitched as if someone had shot electricity through me when I spotted Meredith at the end of the hallway at the nurses' station. I looked from left to right but the hallway on the surgical floor was as good as deserted so I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the nearest exam room, locking the door behind us. She looked at me quizzically.

"I've talked to the board, and…," I took another deep breath; "…I've accepted!"

"Good," Meredith exclaimed, "I'm so happy for you. You'll make an excellent Chief!" I shook my head as I pressed a kiss to Meredith's temple. "I owe it all to you, you know? The board really loved the idea of a dual job. I've given them a few names of colleagues who I think would be suitable for the job but the board will make the ultimate decision." Meredith looked at me, narrowing her eyes, "Do you think they'll take someone from here?" I shrugged my shoulders, "Maybe…I don't know. But you know what? I really don't care so much who it is…as long as he and I can do the job together. We both will be Chief…and in a few years or so, SGMH will be back on top…but most important of all…I get to do what I love most; be an excellent brain surgeon and a good husband and father to you and Zola!" Meredith took a deep breath and smiled happily at me. Leaning in, she wrapped her arms around my neck, looking up at me. I stared into her eyes, our lips nearly touching. Meredith closed her eyes as I brushed my lips against hers softly and when our kiss deepened, I closed my eyes as well…

_**Meredith's POV**_

I pushed through the double doors of the surgical floor, cool air enveloping me. "Hey…I've been looking all over for you, "I breathed in relief as I found the person I was looking for. Cristina stood in front of the huge schedule board on the wall, rubbing the back of her neck, muscles taut from eight, ten hour days in a row, "Oh…hey," she mumbled absently as she stared at the board. I walked up to her and shoulder to shoulder, we studied the board displaying the names of all the patients along with their surgery start times, operating room numbers, surgical procedures, surgeons, anesthesiologists and nurses. Every slot was full and I knew Cristina's adrenalin rush was about to kick in, "Anything interesting?" I asked amusingly. Cristina tapped her finger by a surgery on the board, "That's mine," she exclaimed excitedly. I smiled, nodding approvingly but before she walked off in the direction of the Operating Rooms, I glanced at her, "Wanna meet me at Joe's for a drink after work?" Cristina looked kind of surprised but she nodded her head. "Sure…it's been a while." I felt my head nodding of its own accord at the truth of what she said, "It sure has."

**…..**

A wave of chatting, loud music and laughter hit Cristina and me as we walked down the stone flight of stairs to Joe's Emerald City bar. Surveying the bar as I walked to hang up my coat, I noticed there were many people from the hospital there. As we settled on our usual bar stools, Cristina ordered us drinks while I grabbed a handful of peanuts. The first shot of tequila burned my throat, causing me to cough a little.

"Haven't seen you girls in a while," Joe smiled friendly, swiping a rag across the bar in front of us.

"Hey Joe," I smiled, "You're right…but it's good to be back." I downed the next shot of Tequila and the cool liquid warmed my body instantly.

"Derek's gonna be Chief again," I softly said, not really looking at Cristina.

"_What_?" She asked her expression slightly baffled. "I thought he hated being Chief?"

I shook my head. "He liked the job…he hated not being able to operate." After studying me for a minute, Cristina nodded as if she'd just made some kind of decision.

"I'm thinking about leaving Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital," she said slowly.

"_What_?" Everything inside of me froze and for a second I hoped I'd misheard her.

Cristina sighed; running a hand through her thick black hair as she visibly struggled. "I came to Seattle because it had one of the best programs in the country but look at me now; Teddy is hardly talking to me…let alone teaching me. Owen wants nothing from me anymore after the abortion and… on top of it all, April Kepner is Chief resident… Kepner, Meredith? I mean; _seriously_?"

Despite the brief flare of panic I'd felt after Cristina's words, I smiled but my expression soon turned serious again.

"Look, I know it's not easy for you…," I wasn't sure where the words were coming from but I knew I had to say them to Cristina. "…but don't give up on the hospital yet. I'll talk to Derek…I'll convince him to hire a decent Cardio surgeon…but Cristina…please don't leave…," I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat, "…_**me**_!"

A small smile appeared on Cristina's face, her expression visibly relaxing. The harshness was gone from her voice as she softly remarked, "I said, I was thinking about it…I'm not gone yet." The relieved grin, I shot her told her everything I felt at that moment.

"You'd better talk to Shepherd," she teased. "I really need a cardio God at SGMH!" We had a few more drinks when my gaze suddenly fell on my watch, "Oh…no. I'm in trouble," I gasped.

"Why is that," Cristina asked, smiling at my sudden startled expression.

"I'd promised Derek, I'd be home at twelve and now it's almost two. Cristina looked up, "you're kidding?" I shook my head. We both couldn't believe how much time had passed. It seemed as if we'd only arrived at Joe's minutes ago…not hours.

**…..**

Sitting in the back seat of the cab, I stared out of the window. _If Cristina really would leave the hospital, would I want to stay_? I shook my head trying to clear it. There was no point in driving myself crazy over this. Derek would bring the hospital back on top and Cristina would never think about leaving again…

Standing before the front door, I had trouble finding my key and when I did, I couldn't quite slip it into the lock at the right angle. I giggled when I realized I was definitely a little intoxicated. Inside, I shushed myself and carefully made my way through the house trying not to bump into furniture. When I was upstairs, I slipped into the nursery to check on Zola but she was sleeping peacefully. I bit my bottom lip but then went into the guest bathroom to undress, splash some water in my face and brush my teeth. When I was done, I crossed the hallway and quietly pushed down the door handle to my bedroom.

"_Meredith_?" Derek's voice was low and, sleep saturated; in fact, a sexy whisper that sent shivers down my spine.

I slipped under the covers, "Yeah…I'm home."

"Good." Leaning over, Derek captured my mouth in a tender kiss. "You taste hot," he whispered against my lips, his tongue gently stroking the corners of my mouth.

"I taste like tequila," I giggled.

Derek arched an eyebrow. "Then I guess you girls had a good time?"

"Mmm…a very good time." Derek grinned and stole another kiss, his hand coming up to cop a feel beneath the blanket.

"I should get rewarded…you know?"

"For what?" I gasped.

"For babysitting all evening…and night," he whispered while he buried his head in my neck. I shivered when his lips found the sensitive spot between my collar bone and neck. "Oh Really? And exactly what reward would you like?"

"I don't know," Derek mumbled. "But I bet I can think of something. He stroked my breast and I found myself arching against him.

"I bet you can." I relished the feel of Derek so close to me so I closed my eyes and leaned against him.

_**Derek's POV**_

Leaning forward, I skimmed my mouth over Meredith's collarbone again before moving onto her shoulder. "In fact…I've been waiting for you," I murmured, lingering at the hollow of her throat. "…all night." Meredith sighed, her body melting against mine as I worked my way, slowly over every exposed inch of skin. I pulled her to me so I could feel her hard nipples press into my chest with every rapid rise and fall of her chest.

"Derek," she murmured against my mouth. "Wanna make love?"

"Mmm." My hands dropped to her panties, shoving them down her legs before I did the same with my boxers. When I had her naked, I closed my mouth over her nipple and with each swipe of my tongue, her body rocked against mine, her hands fisting in my hair.

"Do it," she gasped as she pulled me up and over her. "Do it now."

"Not so soon," I grinned. "You're not ready yet."

"If I get any more ready…I'll explode." Meredith's breath came in short gasps and she tried to wrap her legs around me, trying to hold me to her but I would have none of that. Instead I skimmed my mouth down her body, pausing to nuzzle and taste.

"Derek…," Meredith gasped again as she felt my breath against her most intimate part. "I need-."

"Shhh," I whispered as I slipped one finger inside her, pushing slowly in and out. A few more soft glides of my tongue and I felt her shattering, her body breaking apart. She held on to me, her fingers digging into my shoulders.

"Mmm," she gasped. "Derek…Ohh."

"I've got you," I whispered hoarsely. "I've got you."

"NOW," she demanded, pulling me over her. "Make love to me…now." I felt her opening her thighs further as I pressed against her. Hot, Hard. Insistent. Rising above her, I slid slowly forward, inch by inch.

"Hurry," she breathed.

"I stopped while a drop of sweat dripped from my forehead to her chest. "I don't want to hurt you," I gasped. "You're so tight."

"I don't care." Meredith pushed her hips forward, wanting me completely inside her fast.

"I care." I whispered, continuing to slide in in and out, going a little deeper each time I entered her.

"Derek." Meredith started begging, pleading.

"Mere…," I gasped as her feminine muscles suddenly gripped me like a fist. I almost couldn't breathe and I wanted nothing more than to slam so hard and fast inside her, she would never forget. But I paused until her muscles finally relaxed a little – enough to let me breathe again. She trembled and pulled her legs up. And then, I began to move, plunging into her over and over again. Thrusting hard, going deep, and driving inside her as if my life depended on it. I felt her tighten around me, felt her orgasm overtake her but still, I didn't stop. I kept surging into her, tilting her hips to get a better angle, riding her through one climax and well on her way to a second. Her nails scraped down my back, her breath hot and hard against my ear and I knew, I couldn't hold on much longer. Every muscle in my body tightened until it was almost painful. Sensation built and Meredith's whimpers and moans pushed me even higher.

"Oh…Derek." She cried out my name and it smashed my control. With a few final thrusts, I let myself go, my release both shattering and transcendent. I took Meredith with me, her convulsing muscles sending me even higher as the most intense orgasm of my life roared through me. I couldn't think… couldn't move. I could only submit to the fiery pleasure washing over me…over us.

When the storm had passed, I turned my head and kissed Meredith.

"I'm never able to move again," I whispered. _It wasn't a complaint, only the simple truth_.

Meredith gave a little whimper of agreement while I was still inside her, unable to work up the strength to roll over. Suddenly, she clenched her muscles around me, sending an involuntary shiver of pleasure over my sensitized nerve endings. I had me gasping and pressing a little deeper.

"I thought you couldn't move," Meredith murmured sleepily.

"Yeah…well, being inside you brings out something special in me." I stroked my fingers down her arms, studying her face. Her lips were swollen from my kisses; her soft skin flushed a rosy, inviting pink. Her arms were sprawled to the side, her breasts upward, and her nipples still hard from my ministrations. I couldn't help myself when I stroked a finger down her breast, watching her nipple peak instantly. I couldn't stop touching her, didn't want to stop. Rolling to my back, I gathered Meredith against me. I reached down rubbing my hand against her. It didn't take long before I was half-crazed with the need to be inside her again.

"Mmm," Meredith murmured. She wrapped her arms around me until I was once again on top of her. As I thrust inside her again, taking her more slowly and gently this time, I realized how much I loved her and the thought had me coming, my body releasing in great spasms, dragging Meredith along with me.

_**Meredith's POV**_

When I woke up, I threw the covers back but immediately realized I hadn't put on my nightgown after last night's lovemaking. I shivered, pulling the covers up to my chest.

"Morning," Derek whispered sleepily, pulling me into his arms.

"Mmm." I murmured, while I closed my eyes because my head was pounding a little. Leaning over me Derek captured my mouth in a quick kiss that reminded why exactly my body was so fantastically sore this morning. When he rolled back to his side, I took the sheet with me as I headed toward the bathroom.

"Oh…um, Meredith?"

I turned around and looked back at Derek

"Yeah?"

"Larry Jones from the board called yesterday evening when you were out with Cristina…they've found a suitable candidate for the joint Chief position!"

"Oh good…Is it someone I know?"

Blood rushed to my face as Derek named the person who would be considered for the second Chief position and all I could bring out was, "Crap!"

**To be continued...**

**Curious? Let me know who you think is considered for the second Chief position?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. **

**Funny and interesting to read...all your suggestions of who would be co-chief next to Derek. Please...read the next chapter and find out who I made co-chief. Enjoy the story and if you have a minute to spare, place a review. They're highly appreciated. **

**Wishing y'all a nice weekend.**

**McJinx**

**...**

Chapter 10

_**Meredith's POV**_

"_Doctor Grey...I could use your help?_"

I was in the process of describing a drug to my patient, so I answered kind of absentmindedly, "Mm…I'll be right there."

"Please, doctor Grey. This cannot wait", April Kepner urged. A warning note in April's voice pulled my attention so I glanced at my Chief Resident and saw distress written all over her face.

"One minute," I said calmly, before turning back to my patient. "According to the X-ray's, you've sprained your ankle…it's not broken. You'll need to keep it immobilized for several weeks to give the muscles time to recover. Here's a prescription, "I tore off the sheet, "…for some Ibuprofen. If you're ankle isn't better in a few weeks, either come back or visit your family physician…OK?

The patient nodded his head.

"Just remember, rest your ankle…If you don't give yourself enough time to heal, your basketball days are over."

The patient blushed slightly as if I had read his mind and knew his intent. "OK," he mumbled. It's just a few weeks…right?"

"At least six…maybe more," I warned him.

"Meredith…please," April urged again from the door.

Telling my patient goodbye, I followed April into the hallway. "What's the problem?"

"It's Cristina. She's gone crazy!"

"Why? What happened," I asked, while I sped up my pace. "She's completely lost her mind," April declared. "She's storming around the locker room and when I tried to reason with her, she almost threw a waste bin at my head."

"I'm sure she didn't mean to," I tried soothing April. "Do you know what upset her?"

"I don't know. She was fine until she read the message, Chief Shepherd posted earlier this morning. Please, Meredith…Can _you_ talk to her. You're the only one, she'll listen to."

"OK," I sighed as I handed over my patient's chart, tucking my pen into the breast pocket of my lab coat. As I made my way down the hallway toward the resident locker room, I passed the message board. One look at the typed message and I knew instantly why Cristina had gone bezirk.

Announcement

The board of Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital is glad to inform you that the following doctors are assigned to the position of Chief of Surgery:

Doctor Derek C. Shepherd

Doctor Preston Burke

To my surprise, the door to the resident locker room stood open and as I cautiously walked inside. I noticed how the reasonably neat locker room now looked as if a tornado had whirled through it. Papers and medical books covered the floor and dirt was spilling out of the waste bin on the floor.

"Hey…what's up?" I asked calmly as I righted the waste bin. Cristina sat on one of the wooden bench in the middle of the locker room and looked up at the sound of my voice. "Have you seen who they made co-Chief," she snapped at me.

"Yeah…I guess you're not happy with that…huh?"

"Not happy?" Cristina waved furiously at me, "Not happy? Did you forget…that ass left me at the altar?" She ranted. "After years of not hearing a single thing…he's coming back to Seattle. To me, it's unthinkable and insulting." Cristina grabbed a water bottle from her locker, hefted it in her hand and threw it through the locker room door against the hallway wall. Standing close to the door, I didn't have time to dodge. The glass bottle shattered into a million pieces and a sharp sting bit into my cheek. Instinctively I touched my face but as far as I could tell, there was no damage. I ignored Cristina's rant and began in a most soothing tone, "Cristina, come on—." I didn't get far past her name before a tall, familiar dark man burst into the locker room, wearing an expensively tailored dark gray suit and a grim expression.

"Cristina Yang! Throw one more thing and you'll be flying through the air too," he snarled as he moved in front of her. Almost in the next second, he whipped out a snowy, white handkerchief and pressed it into my hand.

"Meredith…it's good to see you but you'd better take care of that."

"Hey Doctor Burke," I mumbled, taking his handkerchief and pressing it to my cheek. To my surprise, a large smear of blood stained the white cotton. Quickly, I pressed the handkerchief to my cheek again, more curious about Cristina's reaction to Preston's appearance than about my scratch, especially when Preston turned around and faced me, "Meredith…," he spoke in his deep, stern voice, "…could you please give Cristina and me a minute?"

**Cristina's POV**

"I see _**you**_ haven't changed," Preston said behind my back a minute later.

"Don't bother Burke…I'm not interesting in anything _**you**_ have to say," I snapped at him.

"Do I detect some kind of animosity?"

"If the shoe fits…," I shrugged my shoulders as I dumped a large shard of glass in the trash can.

"Cristina…can you please look at me?"

Burke's gentle voice brought color to my face and I felt anger rise inside of me but I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath. "Doctor Burke, I apologize if I have offended you in any way," I said stiffly. "As a resident, I'm out of line to speak to the Chief of Surgery like this."

"Apology accepted," Burke smiled while he extended his hand. I averted my gaze and crossed my arms defiantly across my chest. "OK…Out of all the hospitals in the country, why did you come back to SGMH?"

"Because you're here," Burke said simply.

"Oh, please…you can't be serious," I scoffed.

"It's true," Burke insisted. "I came as soon as I heard a job was available." I must have looked puzzled. "But why? We don't have feelings for each other…I'm married," I said while I stubbornly stuck my chin forward. _OK…Owen and I were on the verge of breaking up but that wasn't something Burke needed to know_.

Burke chuckled and shook his head, "Don't be afraid…I'm not here to get you back. I've heard of your marriage to Doctor Owen Hunt…congrats by the way. No…I've come back because you were the best resident I ever taught…and I could use your help?" Burke reached into the left inside pocket of his suit, retrieving a white envelope, holding it out to me.

"What's this," I asked suspiciously.

"You have to read it!"

I eyed the envelope as if it held my resignation letter but curiosity must have flickered across my face because I sensed Burke's tension. Reluctantly, I accepted and ripped open the envelope. Inside was a letter, addressed to Burke. It read:

Dear Doctor P. Burke,

With great interest we have read about your new surgical procedure called Minimum Invasive Cardiac Surgery (MICS). As you explained, the new technique reduces the incision size from 8 to 12 inches in traditional cardiac surgeries to 3 to 4 inches. Also the recovery time would be reduced from three months to just one month. This novel surgery procedure could be an answer to all the problems related to big incisions on a body like wound infection, keloid scars, pain, delayed recovery and cosmetic problems in young patients.

My mouth dropped open in awe and I looked up at Burke. "Really? What? How..?" At this point, I seemed to have forgotten my resentment against Burke because my medical professionalism kicked in instantly. A small arrogant smile played at the edges of his lips, "I knew you'd be interested. Listen, I've developed this new surgical technique but it still needs improvement…and that's why I need _**you**_. You're the fastest learning student, I've ever met and I really could use your skills, improving this technique. What do you say?"

For a second, I hesitated but I also realized this was a once-in-a-lifetime chance. I sighed but then extended my hand, "OK Doctor Burke…I'll accept your offer…but, I want my name published too if this is successful?"

Burke grinned, "Naturally!"

**To be continued...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Have fun reading...McJinx**

**...**

Chapter 11

_**Meredith's POV**_

I stood in the hallway peering at my reflection in a window, hoping I would be able to assess the damage to my face but all I could see was the lack of sleep I was suffering from since Derek and I had adopted Zola.

"Crap," I softly scolded.

"Grey?" Marc Sloane's gaze raked over me, "Are you OK?

I sighed. "It's nothing…just a splin—."

"Let me look at that." Without waiting for my permission, Marc tipped my chin upward, pulled away the handkerchief and examined my face. He gently pressed my cheekbone and frowned, "You need at least one stitch, you know?"

"It's nothing," I mumbled.

Marc raised both eyebrows, "Are you questioning my medical judgment?"

'I wouldn't dare."

A huge grin spread across Marc's face. "OK…then let me take care of that." He pointed at an empty exam room and the next minute I hopped on the exam table while he placed a bottle of alcohol, several sterile gauzes and a suture kit on the surface next to me. "Are you ready?" I eyed his supplies and bit my lower lip. "You really don't have to stitch a scratch. It's hardly bleeding." Marc whipped a small mirror out of his breast pocket and handed it to me. "See for yourself." My reflection revealed a large drop of blood that welled up in the cut that was dangerously close to my right eye. "Please Marc, no stitches," I pleaded.

"Are you worried about my sewing abilities? You do know I'm a plastic surgeon…and a damn good—" I cut him off, "Marc…I'm afraid of needles…OK?"

Sloane grinned but soon turned serious again, "If I don't do anything about it, it'll leave a scar," he warned. I sighed and eyed the cut again before I dabbed the blood away. "Probably…but it won't be so big that make-up won't cover it." I said stubbornly as I handed him his mirror back. "Eventually, it will blend in with my wrinkles. No one will ever notice."

"Derek might!"

"Marc…please, don't be an ass. Can't you just put a butterfly bandage on it?"

He hesitated for a moment, "I can't talk you into this, can I?"

"Not a chance. As I patient, I have the right to refuse treatment."

"OK. A butterfly bandage it is." Marc poured alcohol on a gauze pad. "This is going to sting a little." I nearly whimpered as he gently pressed the saturated pad to my face and disinfected the wound but I bit back my yelp. Marc ripped open another package of gauze and then he pulled the butterfly bandage tight to hold the cut edges of my skin together.

"Perfect, if I say so myself. It will hardly leave a scar but don't get it wet," he informed me.

"I know. Thank you Marc." I smiled while I hopped off the exam table. "Oh..." I closed my eyes as a wave of dizziness washed over me. "Grey?" Marc's voice came from far away. "Are you OK?"

"Excuse me," I mumbled, quickly making my way to the sink in the exam room. I just made it in time, retching and retching until my stomach ached and my head spun. It took a few moments for the nausea to subside and the shaking to stop but when I finally was sure, my legs could support me, I rinsed my mouth and made my way back to the exam table. I chuckled amusingly; _I guessed as a surgeon_, _I could stand the sight of blood easily…as long as it wasn't my own…_I looked around but Marc was gone, so I gathered my things and made my way to the door. The fresh air in the hallway felt great on my heated skin but I'd hardly left the room when Marc stood in front of me…accompanied by Derek.

_**Derek's POV**_

"Hey," I said while I wrapped an arm around Meredith's shoulder. "I heard you had a little accident."

"_Accident_?'

I pointed at her cheek and her hand automatically went to her face. When she touched the small band aid on her cheek, she nodded, "Oh, yes…it's nothing," she mumbled. I frowned ever so slightly but she didn't react to it. _Was it my imagination or did she seem absent-minded_.

"Hey…are you OK?" I asked, gently touching her shoulder. For some reason, Meredith snapped out of it and smiled. "Don't worry…I'm fine!"

I looked at her a little worried but she grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers, softly saying "When you're shift is over, can we go pick up Zola together?"

"Sure, "I nodded. "Why don't you go get her…I'll meet you at the daycare center…OK?" After, Meredith had left; I returned to my office to pick up my briefcase, Marc walking alongside me.

"Did Meredith seem a bit strange to you?" I asked.

"Hey…you would react strange too if your best friend threw a bottle at your head." Marc said. I shrugged. _Marc was probably right…this was on me. Always as Meredith seemed absent-minded of forgetful, I was afraid she was suffering from early signs of Alzheimer's. _When I stood in front of my office, I turned to Marc, patting his shoulder.

"Thanks for taking care of her."

"Sure." Marc smiled while he walked down the hallway in the opposite direction. "See you tomorrow."

After bathing and dressing Zola, I carried her into the nursery. She smelled like soap and my heart contracted as she snuffled tiredly into my neck, her curls brushing against my face. Out of nowhere, an overwhelming urge of giving her a brother or sister washed over me and I tenderly kissed her little head. _How many babies would Meredith and I have had by now if I had chosen her over Addison back then?_

As if by some extrasensory connection, Meredith chose that exact moment to enter the nursery and I could feel my cheeks heating up. "Wanna give her a goodnight kiss?" I blurted out in an effort to banish my stupid fantasies.

"Hmm." Meredith nodded and I placed an-almost-sleeping Zola into her arms.

"Sweet dreams…baby girl," Meredith whispered softly while she kissed the top of Zola's head, carefully lying her down and tucking her in. I looked at Meredith as she rose. She put a finger to her mouth indicating for us to be quiet while we tiptoed out of the nursery.

"Does you cheek hurt," I asked as we entered our bedroom.

"My cheek?'

My heart skipped a beat and I felt dazed and confused. _Had she forgotten again_?

"Yes," I said slowly. "…Cristina accidently threw a bottle at the wall and a chard of glass hit your face…_remember_?" An awkward silence fell for a moment, then Meredith carefully reached out and felt her cheek. "It's nothing." She shrugged. "I hardly feel a thing…really!"

I brought my hand up and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "Mere…Please don't get me wrong but I worry about you," I said softly.

She shot me a look I couldn't decipher but then she smiled, "Why worry…I'm fine…really!" Without waiting for my reaction, she gathered her things and went into the adjoining bathroom. I sighed but when I heard water running, I walked to the bed, turning on the night lamp. I kicked my shoes and socks off and dropped my hands to my belt buckle when I noticed how my hands trembled. I looked down on them and clenched them into tight fists.

_What would __I do if I knew Alzheimer's was eating Meredith's brain, robbing her of all logical thought and returning her slowly to the emotional dependence of a child? If she would gradually lose her memory and start to drift away from me…would I be strong enough to deal with that? _

Even thinking about it made my gut clench and a frustrated groan rumbled low out of my throat. In a few long strides, I pulled open the door and burst into the bathroom.

"Hey…what?"

Meredith stood next to the tub, drying herself off. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me, "Don't ever sneak away from me," I whispered against her hair.

"W…what?"

"_I love you_." My voice was thick and I squeezed her even tighter. Alerted by the tone in my voice, she freed herself from my embrace and looked at me questioningly.

"What is with you? I only have a scratch in my face…nothing to worry about." She slowly shook her head and smiled at me. I tried to smile in return but my attempt failed miserably.

"_Derek_?"

Meredith looped her arms around my neck and ran her fingers through my hair, "Why don't you tell me what's bothering you so much?"

"I'm sorry…," I mumbled. "I guess…I'm just tired." I smiled to cover my rush of feelings, swallowing hard, afraid of what my eyes were giving away. The lights from the bathroom illuminated Meredith's face as she looked up at me and without hesitation; I clutched her to me and kissed her fully on the mouth. Instead of pulling away, she pushed her body into mine and our mouths opened simultaneously to explore each other's tongue. Her small but firm breasts flattened against my chest and her pelvis was grinding into me as I pulled her body as close to me as I could.

A short while later we were in bed, making love. It was long, and languid and gentle. Meredith wrapped her legs around me as I thrust into her. Her hands were around my shoulders and she looked into my eyes, arching her back, pressing her pelvis against me. She came harder than I'd ever felt before, shuddering, her feminine walls gripping me like a glove. It pushed me over the edge and I thrust into her one final time, burying myself completely and filling her with my seed. Afterward, we held each other and I tasted salty sweat on her lips as we kissed long and deep. When I rolled onto my back, I pulled her with me, our sweat slowly drying and cooling our skin.

"I love you," she mumbled sleepily.

"I love you too…with all my heart." I forced the words out of my exhausted body, drawing on the fullness of my feelings for her. I drifted off…and when I woke a few hours later, I was still holding her, her deep breath telling me she was deep asleep and all I could think was…

_Please God…don't let her slip away from me. _

**To be continued...**

**Do you think something is wrong with Meredith? Is she really showing early signs of Alzheimer's or is something else going on? Let me know your thoughts. I (ofcourse) know what's going on with Mere but I'm curious what your thoughts are on the matter ;-)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Hi,**

**Well, once thing's for sure...I'm never letting y'all gues LOL. Derek's still worried about Meredith but there's one person from his past who has a different view on the matter. Please read the next chapter and let me know what you think. Wishing you all a nice sunday.**

**Greetz, McJinx**

Chapter 12

_Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up on us and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. The Nile? It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it? _

_Quote by Meredith Grey_

_**Meredith's POV**_

"Doctor Grey…your patient's all prepped and ready!"

When the nurse had left the scrub room, my heart was racing…and not with excitement. "Crap." I tried to steady myself but my legs felt like jelly. Scanning the OR, I couldn't for the life of me remember what surgery I had to perform. My head was swimming and my body felt weak and it wasn't long before I drifted into panic mode.

_What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I remember?_

I pressed one hand to my forehead and closed my eyes, trying to concentrate._  
><em>"Grey? Are you waiting for that hernia to fix itself?"

Out of nowhere, Doctor Bailey appeared, holding her cup of mocha latte in front of my face. The smell made me nauseous and just as I felt bile reaching the back of my throat; she drew it back and chuckled.

"It's hard huh…being a surgeon _**and**_ a mom?"

"Yeah." I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts.

"If you'll excuse me now Doctor Bailey…I need to fix that hernia." I pushed the button with my elbow and took my place at the operating table.

"Scalpel."

The scrub nurse handed me an eleven blade while the anesthesiologist turned up the volume on the sound system built in the wall behind him. Within moments, the soothing sounds of Kansas' Dust in the Wind filled the operating room. The procedure flowed in equal harmony as I swiftly removed a fragment of the herniated disc relieving pressure on the patient's spinal cord. Doctor Bailey who was supervising my surgery stood at the foot of the table watching while I carefully examined the surgery area.

Lexie who stood opposite me suddenly grabbed the suction. "Damn…we have a small tear in the annulus."

"I need to suture with a patch," I said, calmly emphasizing my words.

The scrub nurse already had a needle holder ready to snap into my hand but I shook my head. "No…I need a Prolene suture. The scrub nurse turned around to get the right suture while I waited for Lexie to suction the area.

"Here's your suture Doctor Grey."

I finished suturing and handed the needle holder back to the scrub nurse. "I think I've got it…it looks pretty dry."

"Good job Doctor Grey," Doctor Bailey said softly.

I nodded while I turned to Lexie. "Can you close?" Lexi took a deep breath, nodding excitedly. She took my place while I stepped back from the operating table, ripping off my bloody gloves. Half an hour later, we wheeled the patient and his fixed hernia into the intensive care unit. I gave report to the ICU nurse and went in search for an empty on call room, glad I'd survived another day without harming anyone…or worse. I sighed because deep in my heart, I knew something was wrong with me but I was afraid to face the consequences.

_**Derek's POV**_

The past few days and my worries about Meredith were catching up on me and I leaned my head against the back of the couch in my office, closing my eyes…only for a moment. When I opened them again, I found myself lying full length on the couch, a pillow under my head and my doctor's coat covering me. I sighed and groaned as I sat up, my head aching and feeling weary down to my soul.

"So…you're finally awake?"

A strangely familiar voice rang into my ears and despite my foul mood, I smiled.

"Hi Addi."

"Hey yourself," Addison replied while she sat down on the couch next to me. "You look tired," she said after a while. "…and you definitely need a shave."

"Well, I don't have time to shave." I felt my words come out harshly; like they almost forced themselves from my dry throat. My face darkened and I lowered my head, hiding my expression. "I'm sorry."

"Derek?" Addison whispered, looking at me worriedly. I felt how a solitary tear streamed down my face but my throat was too constricted so I shook my head.

"What's going on with you? Are you and Meredith having trouble?"

I rose from the couch, grabbing my doctor's coat but Addison rushed to my side and held me back. "Hey…take it easy. I'm a good listener…remember?" With a defeated sigh, I sank back down on the couch, burying my face in my hands. I tried forcing them back but I couldn't prevent the tears that suddenly streamed down my face. Addison sank down on her knees in front of me and pulled my hands away, wiping away my tears with her thumbs.

"I've only seen you like this once and that was when Meredith nearly drowned…What's going on Derek?" Addison asked, her face stricken with concern.

"It's Meredith…I'm afraid, she has it!"

"Has…what?" Addison said in a quiet tone.

"Alzheimer's." I spat the word out of my mouth. "Meredith's pulling away from me and there's nothing I—." I shook my head and swallowed the rest of my sentence. Addison gasped and her face contorted into a mixture of compassion and understanding.

"Oh…," She softly whispered.

"Yeah…" I smiled sadly.

"But she's far too young to have early onset Alzheimer's?" Addison mumbled.

"I know…," I said tiredly while a racked a hand through my tousled hair. "But there have been documented cases of patients developing Alzheimer's around their thirties…and considering Meredith's background with her mom and all."

"Has she been tested?"

"No, not yet." My breath hitched but I fought it along with the onslaught of emotions that ravaged inside me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream until my throat ran raw. I wanted someone to tell me this was all a sick joke but the reality was; Meredith was forgetful and absent and at this point, her condition was pulling at every bit of my sanity. Right at this instant, I could feel it all rushing up in a hurried mess. I was alone in this. Water started swelling in my eyes again and I placed a hand on my knee to steady myself.

And then I was crying.

Addison wrapped her arms around me, running her palm against the back of my head, whispering soothing words I couldn't make out because of my gasps for air.

"Hey," she whispered after a while, something I could actually hear. "Don't…shh." I took a deep breath and angrily wiped at my tears while Addison gently let go of me. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. At least you got it off your chest but Derek…she needs to be tested. If Meredith is really showing signs of early Alzheimer's—." Addison did not finish her sentence. I nodded tiredly and got up from the couch. "I'm gonna…I have to do this thing." Addison smiled and rose too. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug. "If you ever need to talk, I'm only a phone call away." I smiled and kissed her cheek. "I know…and Addi, thanks!"

I opened the door, let Addison pass and followed her down the hallway. Addison suddenly spotted Meredith who was standing at the nurses' desk at the end of the hallway and...she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Why haven't you told me?"

"Told you what?"

"That she's pregnant."

"_WHAT_?"

On our way home, Meredith had drifted off to sleep. Her head lolled towards the window and I swallowed as my gaze tracked the column of her neck. My fingers itched to stroke her soft skin but I tightened my fists around the wheel. My eyes were drawn to her hands clasped low across her stomach and I felt something stir inside. _Our child had once grown there_. I gripped the steering wheel even tighter. Addison's words kept playing through my head as I approached a red light. Maybe it wasn't Alzheimer's. Maybe it was indeed what Addi had said.

_Tiredness, nausea, forgetfulness. Three very common, classic symptoms of pregnancy._

I felt my pulse pound through my abdomen._ Could it be_? I tried to stay calm and rationalize but in my mind I made a quick calculation. It could be possible. I looked at Meredith again. Maybe it was the way she had her hands folded in her lap but suddenly I had a very strong feeling, a gut feeling, she wasn't suffering from Alzheimer's.

_But if she was pregnant, did she know?_

"Mere." No reaction.

"Meredith?" I said again, louder this time.

"Hmm?" She stirred.

I watched her as her eyes fluttered open. She looked kind of vulnerable and I felt a fist claw at my gut.

"I must have dozed off. Are we home yet?" she whispered.

"Yeah," I said, unbuckling my seat belt and getting out of the car. I opened the door on her side and she allowed me to take her elbow and guide her out. I unlocked the front door and when Meredith was inside, I went back to the car to get Zola. After we had fed Zola and laid her down for the night, we went back downstairs.

"We need to talk," I said softly.

"Not now Derek…please. I'm tired and desperately in need of a shower."

"In a minute," I said guiding her towards the couch.

"Derek," she protested weakly.

"Sit," I ordered, giving her a gently nudge. I held out a small blue plastic bag, I'd picked up at the hospital after Addison had told me her suspicions, "This is for you." I said.

"What is it?"

"Open it."

Meredith grimaced but opened the bag pulling out a long rectangular box. She looked at the home pregnancy kit for several moments through bleary eyes before it finally sank in.

"What…why?" She mumbled, her brain not quite computing the meaning as she looked at me. I knelt down in front of her. "You're tired. You're forgetting things and you're nauseous."

Meredith stared at the pregnancy kit in a daze. "But…but I had my period," she murmured, her brain coming slowly awake now. "It was pretty light though and it only lasted for a few days. I put it down to all the stress with Zola and the fight with you." Meredith was fully awake now. "Do you think…?" She looked me in the eyes. "Do you really think I'm pregnant?"

"I think it's a possibility," I said.

"Why don't you go and use it," I suggested. The suspense was slowly killing me but I could see Meredith was still processing the idea. I waited a few moments before I prompted her again.

"Mere…?"

"Hmm? Yes?" She murmured, looking at me. She rose from the couch, clutching the pregnancy test for dear life.

"I'll be right back," she said as she made her way to the toilet.

**To be continued...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy**

**Hi guys, **

**Here's another chapter...I guess, the one you've been all waiting for ;-) Is Meredith pregnant or not? Please enjoy and if you have a minute to spare, please comment.**

**Have a nice weekend.**

**McJinx**

Chapter 13

_**Meredith's POV**_

My heart pounded and my hand shook as I opened the pregnancy kit. _Could this really be true?_ I slowly pulled down my panties and sat on the toilet, absorbing the possibility. My hand found my abdomen and a weary sigh escaped me while I felt excited and terrified all at once.

"_Meredith_?" I heard Derek knock lightly on the toilet door. "Are you all right?" His voice brought me out of my daze. "Er…yes, everything's fine."

"Have you done it?"

"Sorry…Hang on. I'm doing it now." I took a deep breath, almost too frightened to take the test. _What if it was negative?_ I rose and placed the stick in my urine sample but when it came to looking at the window, I just couldn't. I opened the toilet door and handed the stick to Derek, "Here…you watch it. I'm too nervous," I said brushing past him to wash my hands in the kitchen. As I returned, Derek stood in the middle of the living room, holding up the stick, a wide grin on his handsome face; his eyes glittering like moonlight on water.

One single word on the pregnancy stick stared back at me; _**pregnant**_.

I shook my head as reality slowly sank in. I was carrying Derek's baby…the baby I'd coveted for the last year was now a reality. I slowly raised my hand and placed it on my belly, smiling. I felt light; lighter than I'd ever felt before. I reached for the stick and took it from Derek, "I…I can't believe it," I stammered.

"Believe it," Derek whispered.

A tiny worm of excitement burrowed into my heart as Derek wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. The thought, I was carrying his baby was truly overwhelming. _**I was pregnant!**_ A baby, he and I had created; a little brother or sister for Zola.

I freed myself from Derek's arms and looked up at him, "I don't know what to say." Derek grinned at my dazed expression. "Why don't you go and have that shower you needed so desperately while I fix us something to eat?"

I nodded absently, my brain utterly preoccupied with the stunning news. The fact that all I'd wanted when I'd walked into the house fifteen minutes ago had been a shower and a bed was completely lost to me. I slowly made my way upstairs and briefly checked on Zola who was sleeping peacefully as ever…_she was such a sweet child_. Inside the bathroom, I undressed, got under the spray and applied shampoo to my hair. When I was done a few minutes later, I stepped out of the shower and cleared the condensation from the bathroom mirror inspecting my reflection. _Was I imagining things or was I fuller around my waist_? Turning to one side, I smoothed my hand against my stomach. Soon, it would blossom with Derek's child and although I had still trouble processing the news, I couldn't wait to see my belly grow. I pushed out my stomach as far as I could and grinned stupidly at my reflection in the mirror. When I met my eyes, thoughts of my first pregnancy suddenly intruded and I remembered looking at the stick back then, feeling so many emotions. I'd been so happy but then there had been that awful shooting and the miscarriage that had halted Derek and my parental dreams. I clutched my stomach, feeling fear break through my joy. The thought of losing another baby was too heart-wrenching to bear. I couldn't go through that again. Suddenly feeling a little depressed, I dressed in my Dartmouth t-shirt and a fresh pair of panties. There were tears in my eyes as I slowly walked down.

I found Derek in the kitchen, preparing us dinner as soft music swirled through the air. For a moment, I watched him from the doorway but thinking about the miscarriage had dampened my mood considerably. I needed time to absorb the situation; needed time to think; needed to be alone.

"If you don't mind, I'm off to bed," I said rather casually.

Derek looked up from his chopping, "You need to eat something first." My stomach revolted at the thought of food and I placed my hand over it, shaking my head. "I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat, Mere."

"I know," I sighed. "…but I'm really not hungry." I locked gazes with Derek for a brief intense moment and I knew he sensed my mood. He walked over to me and smoothed a hand over my hair. "OK…you go ahead then. I'll join you after I've eaten something."

_**Derek's POV**_

I quietly pushed down the door handle but to my surprise, Meredith was still awake. She held out her arms to me and I rushed to her side. I laid my head against her chest, her heartbeat pounding beneath my ear. She cradled my head against her chest and absently ran her fingers through my hair.

"Derek…I'm really pregnant…aren't I?"

I heard her voice reverberate through her chest wall. I rolled onto my stomach, my chin against her sternum, looking up into her face. "Yeah, you are. Are you scared?"

She nodded. "A little."

I gazed into her lovely blue eyes and smiled as she took my hand and rested it in the cradle between her hips where our baby was safely nestled. _A baby_. I had made Meredith pregnant. Still, I found it hard to wrap my head around.

"You should see Addison tomorrow. She will be leaving for LA in a few days."

Meredith's hand stilled in my hair and I heard her swallow, "Isn't that a bit strange…your ex-wife examining your pregnant second wife?"

I shifted so I was on my elbows again turning to look at Meredith, "I'm sure Addi won't mind. And to be honest…she is te one of the best obstetricians in the country."

Meredith shrugged, dropping her hand from my hair. "OK…I will see her tomorrow but only if you'll join me."

"That goes without saying." I smiled as I nuzzled my face into her neck, inhaling her sweet scent; her hair smelling like lavender as usual and her skin like fresh soap. All over sudden I felt a rush of emotion rise in my chest. We were giving Zola a brother or sister. I became well aware of my hand on Meredith's belly; her soft, warm skin; my hand grazing the line of her panties and I couldn't remember a time when she'd looked sexier and I wanted her more than ever before. I slowly trailed my hand upward under her T-shirt, stopping when I reached the valley between her breasts.

"I want to kiss you," I whispered.

"You should," Meredith said quietly, her gaze flicking to my mouth. I slowly lowered my head, my mouth creeping closer and closer.

"I wish…," she said suddenly.

There was silence as my lips inched nearer, "…what?" I breathed.

"…I could remember when we made our baby," she said, her voice a husky whisper.

"So do I," I admitted, my teeth biting softly into her bottom lip.

"God…I want you," I groaned, my heart thudding as my mouth finally zeroed in hers and my fingers found her breast, the pad of my thumb stroking her nipple. A soft moan escaped Meredith and she arched her back involuntarily, pushing herself into my hand, moaning again when my hand cupped her entire breast. I lavished her mouth with sweet, slow kisses that burned my mouth. I wanted to touch her, kiss her all over. I leaned back and saw glitter in her eyes, noticing the uneven rise and fall of her breasts. I helped her sit up and pulled the Dartmouth shirt over her head. She smiled as I slowly ran a finger down the center of her chest, directly down the middle of her stomach to the edge of her panties. I slowly pulled them down her hips and saw how she bit her bottom lip. She lifted her hips and I pulled the scrap of fabric all the way down. When she was fully naked, I quickly stripped off my clothes and covered her body with mine. Within seconds our passion ignited and our kisses grew hotter. Longer. Deeper. My mouth left hers and found a nipple and I heard her whimper as I softly swirled my tongue around it.

"Derek…you're torturing me. I want you inside me."

I chuckled and looked up at her from her wet nipple. "No. I want this to be slow this time. You're pregnant and I have to be careful."

Meredith gave a frustrated groan. "I'm pregnant…not breakable."

I grinned but my eyes widened as a saw sexual frustration glittering in her eyes. She lifted her hips and my erection brushed against her moist core. I held her gaze as I slowly trailed two fingers down her belly, continuing through her soft curls and teasing her slick entrance. A wave of heat surged through my body at her readiness, almost blinding me need.

"Mere…can I?" I groaned.

"Mmm…yes," she whispered her voice hoarse with passion.

I lowered my head to kiss her as I slowly entered her tight, hot core.

"Yes," she moaned. 'More…please."

I could feel her tremble when I slowly thrust into her and kept a slow and steady pace. When her feminine muscles tightened around me and she trailed her hands softly down my back, my own orgasm erupted. My muscles tensed, my breathing stopped and my heart skipped a beat for a few seconds and when it came, I pounded into her again and again, urged on by her moans and our joint climax. When our breathing had become normal, I pulled Meredith close, spoon-fashion, one hand cupping her belly. I kissed her hair held her tight until we both drifted off to sleep.

_**Meredith's POV**_

After a good night's sleep, I got out of bed early and made my way to the nursery. Zola was already awake and automatically lifted her arms when she saw me. I picked her up, changed her diaper and settled with her in the nursery's rocking chair. She wrapped her chubby, little arms around my neck and I hugged her close. To my surprise, a lump suddenly rose in my throat. _What would our baby look like when she was Zola's age? Would he or she take after me…or Derek? Would he or she have my blondeness or Derek's dark, rich hair?_ The desire to see and hold my baby was suddenly overwhelming but I also felt a tiny pang of guilt towards Zola so I hugged her harder. Zola didn't protest and I felt grateful because this little girl gave me hope. Here in my arms was the living proof that I could be a mom. All she needed was someone to love her and a loving environment. Since I knew, I was pregnant, already a lot of emotions and feelings had surged through me but Zola was the tangible evidence that my fear was unnecessary and I really needed that reassurance.

"Mommy's going to have another baby," I gently smiled down at her. "…a baby brother or sister for you to play with!" Zola looked up at me with big, innocent eyes and tears came to my eyes; no tears of sadness but tears of joy.

….

Four hours later, Derek and I were waiting in a small exam room. We were on our lunch break and Derek had arranged for Addison to give me my first exam and ultrasound.

A thought that had never even occurred to me before, suddenly popped into my head as we waited, "What if there's something wrong with the baby?" I whispered. I felt a wave of dread rise over me. _What if the baby was deformed or had major problems? What if the fates had decided my uterus was hostile because I didn't deserve a healthy baby?_ I clutched my stomach. It was still flat but I could feel the bulge of my hard uterus beneath.

Derek took my hand, "There's nothing wrong with our baby," he said, carefully emphasizing his words.

"You promise?" I asked.

Derek nodded, "I promise."

Addison came out, apologizing for interrupting our conversation. I smiled as she gave me a hug and ushered us into a cubicle, helping me onto the high, narrow bed. Derek went around to the far side so he wasn't in her way. He could have performed the ultrasound himself but obstetric sonography was a specialized field and like he'd said; Addison was the best! Addison pushed a button and as she put the Doppler on my belly, my baby appeared in a grainy black and white image on the screen. I held Derek's hand and barely heard Addison at all; I was totally and completely mesmerized by the tiny, little life I could see on the screen. It was no longer 'the baby'or 'it'or 'he or she'. This was a real, living, breathing, kicking, squirming baby. Addison pushed a different button and the room filled with a magical pulsating; whoosh…woosh…woosh. The sound was like music to my ears. There really was a baby inside of me.

"Everything's looking fine Meredith…and by the looks of it your about sixteen weeks pregnant." I gripped Derek's hand, "Sixteen weeks…I'm already that far along?"

"Yeah…I guess, we both haven't picked up on the signals," Derek said softly. "When you started forgetting things, I was scared you were developing Alzheimer's so I didn't think of other possibilities but it's like Addison said, it's quite common for an expecting mom to forget things." I nodded distractedly not being able to take my eyes off my baby. I was mesmerized by the tiny central flicker in its chest.

"Meredith?" Addison's voice seemed to come from far away.

"Mmm?" I said, reluctantly dragging my eyes away from the screen. "What?"

"Do you want to know if the baby is a boy or a girl?"

I blinked_. Did I_?

"Do you?" I asked Derek. He smiled at me, "I wouldn't mind…but I leave it up to you," he said. I looked at the screen again but then I shook my head. "No…I don't want to know." I looked at Derek and he smiled encouragingly at me.

Addison wanted to switch the machine off but I wasn't finished looking yet. The baby was still moving around, its tiny movements fascinating. I didn't want Addison to switch it off; I wanted to watch my baby forever.

"Please Addison…one minute," I pleaded. When several moments had passed, Derek prompted, "Mere...?"

I nodded reluctantly, reaching forward and touching my hand to the cold screen to prolong contact with my baby but when I moved, the Doppler slid off my abdomen and the image went on the screen went blank.

"Guys…everything is looking fine. Your baby is healthy and everything seems to be on track," Addison said as she wiped the cold jelly from my abdomen. I pulled my shirt back down and hopped off the table, sitting next to Derek.

"I'm referring you to the new obstetrician…here at the hospital but if you have any questions, you can always call me…even if it's in the middle of the night," Addison smiled. "You have to start taking vitamins and I before I'm leaving, I want your blood sample checked."

"Blood sample?" I swallowed hard.

"Yeah," Addison said casually. "In a hospital there are many things that are unhealthy for a woman who is pregnant. Chicken pox and rubella can cause miscarriage and severe deformities to a fetus. I need to know if you have been immunized to these diseases so that's why I need a simple blood sample."

Addison rose from her chair and hugged me again. She shook Derek's hand and congratulated him with the fact I was pregnant. When Addison had left, Derek came around and knelt down next to me, knowing how much I hated needles.

"Why don't I take your blood sample?"

I nodded, "Yes please."

Derek smiled and turned around to get the necessary equipment. When he took my hand, I squeezed my eyes shut. Fear shot through my veins and I felt how my heart sped up. I shivered and adrenaline pumped through me. I whimpered the moment the needle pierced my flesh.

"Derek…?" I squeezed his hand.

"Shh…it's OK." He stroked my hand and through my fear, I could swear, I felt his lips brush my knuckles. It felt like the needle was in me forever but it was probably only seconds. Derek wiped the area where the needle had been and applied a small band aid.

"Here…all done," he smiled.

"Thanks," I softly said.

"I have to get back to work…you OK?" Derek said.

"Sure. I guess…I see you later. Shall I pick up Zola or will you?"

"I'll pick her up." Derek smiled.

He kissed my cheek and left the exam room while I sank back down into the chair and stared at the blank screen. _I was pregnant!_

**_To be continued..._**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Pfff...I've really been struggling with this next chapter. I'm sorry, it took me so long ;-) but I guess, my inspiration has went down the drain... Hope you'll like it anyway.**

**McJinx**

Chapter 14

_**Meredith's POV**_

It was still early when I stood in the doorway of the nursery, silently watching Zola. The baby mobile spun above her head as she reached up to play with it. After a few minutes she got bored with it though and started whimpering softly.

_That was my cue!_

I smiled and entered the nursery. When Zola spotted me, she rolled to her side and held onto the side rail of the crib, smiling happily up at me.

"Morning Zola…You're such a sweet girl, playing with your mobile."

I lifted Zola from her crib and carried her downstairs. After warming the baby porridge in the micro wave, I held the nipple of the beaker in front of her mouth and she immediately started sucking.

"Hungry huh?"

As Zola sucked satisfyingly, I laid her down on the couch to feel her diaper. It was damp but I guessed it could wait until after her morning bath. When she was done, I sat her up and gently patted her back which produced a loud burp and some bubbles, I gently wiped from her chin. After sitting with her for a while, I carried her back upstairs into the bedroom.

"Can you watch her while I fill the tub?" Derek groaned sleepily but sat up taking Zola from my arms. He started tickling her tummy until she squealed for joy. I smiled to myself and walked into the adjoining bathroom, turning on the faucet. When the tub was full, Derek brought Zola and I carefully sat her down in the warm bath water. Like most almost 12 month olds, she started giggling and splashing her little hands onto the water. Within minutes, I was soaked from head to toe…and then my cell on the night stand rang.

**"_Derek?"_**

"_Derek…can you get that_?"

There was no answer coming from the bedroom because he'd probably went downstairs for some breakfast. I groaned irritably and lifted Zola from the tub quickly wrapping a towel around her and rushing back into the bedroom to pick up my cell.

"_Meredith Grey_?"

**…**

**"Hello, this is Janet-… I'd like to make an-…."**

By now, Zola was squeaking so loud in protest because I'd take her from her warm morning bath, I could hardly hear the person on the other end.

"I'm sorry but could you repeat that?"

**"_Hello, Doctor Grey, this is Janet from Child Services."_**

By now, my shirt clung to my back and to make matters worse, Zola choose this exact moment to throw up all over me.

"I'm sorry Janet but the baby's a little fussy. Can I call you back?"

**…**

I closed my cell and with an inward groan, I sank down on the bed, hot baby vomit, soaking my shirt, my hair…and Zola, who was still sobbing loudly.

"What's going on in here? Derek entered the bedroom and gazed at us in amazement.

"Where were you?" I snapped at him. "Someone was calling on my cell and I couldn't leave Zola alone in the tub…could I? And you know how she is when she has to leave the tub."

Derek smiled down at us and reached for Zola, "Should daddy make it OK?" I watched how Zola's tears disappeared like snow in the sun as she bounced up and down excitedly in his arms.

"Little traitor." I groaned. Derek grinned down at me as Zola snuggled her head into his chest.

"Why don't you get freshened up while I take care of this one here?"

Derek smiled down on Zola while he reached out his free hand. I rose from the bed and let him gently push me into the adjoining bathroom. After my shower I went back into the bedroom to get dressed but I my eyelids felt so heavy and the bed looked really inviting…

The sun, brightly peeking in through the open curtains penetrated my closed lids. I opened them slowly taking a short moment to orientate myself, looking down at my fully clothed form. Well, sort of fully clothed because I'd seemed to have dozed off before even getting dressed. Three nights of little sleep, the stress of my assumed illness and then the earthshattering news of my pregnancy had obviously taken their toll. I yawned and turned my head to check the time; the red numbers on the alarm telling me it was after two o'clock.

Two o'clock!

I vaulted into an upright position. Why had Derek let me sleep so long? _Crap_. I should have been at the hospital. He should have woken me. Feeling a bit disorientated but physically much better, I swung my feet down to the floor and stood. Feeling a bit wobbly, I walked into the hallway. Only a few steps down the hall, I heard the steady sound of Derek's voice. _Who was he talking to?_ I paused and listened intently but then I smiled; he was reading aloud a fairy tale. Sneaking quietly toward the living room, I peeked around the corner. Zola was snuggled up against Derek staring up at him. I bit my bottom lip while I watched their faces; his smile; her eyes twinkling as he read to her and then Derek glanced up, catching my gaze.

"Hey sleepyhead. Look Zola…mommy's awake."

"Derek? You should have woken me…I have to work!" Derek rapidly dismissed my objections as he reacted. "I've called the hospital to let them know you've taken a day off. I can do that you know? I'm chief!"

I giggled but then Derek turned serious, "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I stepped into the room and kissed Derek's cheek and the top of Zola's head, "I'm actually hungry."

"Good then I'll fix us something to eat," Derek stood, lifting Zola to his chest, "But first I have to get this rascal into bed for her afternoon nap."

When Derek returned he went into the kitchen and a few minutes later, he entered the living room carrying two bowls of chicken soup.

"Who was on your cell?" he asked.

"On my cell?"

"This morning?"

"Oh yes…that!" I said, feeling suddenly very nervous. "That was Janet from Child Services. I have to call her back."

"They're gonna grant us permanent custody of Zola," Derek smiled confidently.

"You think?'

"I'm sure."

A week later on a Saturday afternoon, Derek and I stood in front of a large building for our appointment with Janet regarding Zola's custody. The sun was beaming down on us with all its glory and I felt beads of sweat trickle down the small of my back.

"Are you nervous?" Derek asked, coming up behind me dropping a kiss against my neck.

"A little." I admitted, closing my eyes for a moment.

"Mere…c'mon," Derek beckoned me to cross the street where the pedestrian light had just turned green.

_What if they don't grant us __permanent custody?_

Derek didn't let go of my hand even after we'd made it across the street. He had a firm grip but gentle at the same time. I could feel some calluses at his fingertips, but the rest of his palm was soft. The blue shirt he wore was an old birthday gift from me to him. He shouldn't have worn it in this heat but somehow he loved this shirt.

"What?"

"What…what?" I asked him back.

Derek grinned, "You're staring at me."

"I wished it was over," I admitted nervously.

"You're cute when you're nervous. You know that?" Derek grinned gripping my hand a little tighter. We weaved through a throng of humanity along 5th Avenue and I couldn't figure out why people wanted to walk around the city in this heat. Those who didn't wear shades narrowed their eyes to slits. The streets were no less busy. Honks blared, motorcycles sped by and busses spluttered black exhaust clouds. I kept close to Derek until he stopped in front of Seattle's municipal Tower. Inside, he raised his free hand to greet a bald man with thick glasses sitting behind the counter. "Hi…Doctors Grey and Shepherd. We have an appointment with Child Services?"

"Yes…Please take a seat."

My anxiety must have shown because Derek stepped behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders. He led me toward the visitor's sections and pointed at the bench. "Take a seat." I did as he asked and Derek plopped down beside me. Luckily, we only had to wait a few minutes before we were called in…

**To be continued...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. **

**Hope you like the next chapter...it's a sweet one ;-) I would love to see on the show!**

**McJinx**

Chapter 15

_**Derek**__**'s POV**_

...

"OK mom! I'll talk to Meredith…I promise…Bye." I sighed heavily running a hand through my hair, placing the receiver back on the phone. I looked up just in time to see Meredith walk over and sit down on the couch next to me.

"Hey…what's up?"

"Hmm…not much," I answered while I leaned back, averting my gaze.

"Then why do I get the feeling you're hiding something from me?"

I felt how my cheeks turned a light shade of red and I chuckled nervously. Meredith frowned and gave me a long, hard look before she lowered her voice fervently, "Come on Derek…I know something's up?"

"My mom wants us to come to New York for a family visit," I blurted out, straightening up.

"_WHAT_?"

Again, I chuckled nervously while Meredith sat up in surprise. "Do we have to?" she pleaded, not caring too much by the sound of a family visit. I furrowed my brows, "Well, I haven't seen my mom since last year and a lot has changed since then. It's not bad when she sees how happy we are…you, me…and Zola! And, we can also tell her the good news!"

"What…that I'm pregnant?"

"Sure…and the fact they've granted us permanent custody of Zola!" I tentatively reached out and took Meredith's hand in mine, my thumb passing over the soft skin of her pulse. She looked down at our hands before meeting my searching gaze.

"Mere…come on?" I searched her face for a confirmation I couldn't yet find. She sighed and bit down on her lower lip, "I dunno."

"Zola would meet her nieces and nephews…and I'm sure my mom will adore her." I smiled down on Meredith.

"And when should this take place?"

"Next week. We'll both take a week off from work."

Meredith sighed audibly but then she nodded, "OK…we'll go." Once again, her gaze dropped to our entwined hands. I followed her gaze and smiled, giving her a soft squeeze.

"You have no idea how happy this makes me."

Meredith smiled and looked up at me, my eyes ready to drink her in. "As long as you know, I'm doing this for you," she whispered. I scooted closer, sliding a hand up to cup her face. I closed the short distance between our lips in a tender kiss. Meredith's hand slid out of mine as she gripped my shirt, pulling me closer to her as my lips parted hers, my warm breath a whisper against her lips. She leaned into me, her body closer to mine as she sat straighter. I used my free hand to wrap around her waist and scooted her closer to me.

"I love you," I softly said. Meredith smiled, laying her hands flat against my chest, her fingers delicately stroking where my heartbeat thumped and I was sure her own pulse was in harmony with mine.

"I love you too," she whispered as I kissed her again.

The engines of the plane announced their readiness to take off with a roar. It slowly lurched forward and began coasting down to the end of the long runway of Tacoma Airport.

"Now there's no way back," Meredith softly whispered, staring straight ahead as the plane lifted off. I smiled and gently took her hand in mine as we sat in silence for several minutes. Finally, a tiny bell sounded to end our peace and we glanced up in time to see the '**fasten seat belts**' sign switching off.

"Pff, I need to pee….again," Meredith whispered, releasing my hand and unbuckling her's and Zola's seatbelt. She lifted Zola onto my lap and I nodded glancing sideways; a vast sweep of fluffy clouds stretching away like a field of white cotton. I smiled and lay back in my seat; the plane's engines softly roaring and lulling Zola and me into a dream-like state.

_**Meredith's POV**_

The plane landed half an hour late but not a minute too soon for one of its youngest passengers. Zola had started whimpering softly and I had trouble keeping her quiet. The stewardess smiled sweetly as I finally lifted her to my chest and made my way to the plane's exit.

"Ah…You're daughter is so cute!"

I nodded friendly and after what seemed like forever again, our passports were finally stamped and Derek had collected our entire luggage. With our bags secured safely in the trunk of a cab, Zola was sitting in my lap when we went on our way to the New York suburbs. Looking out of the window, I registered what seemed to be complete chaos; cars, buses, bicycles, motorbikes and yellow cabs and surrounding all of these was what looked to be a billion people. By the time, the cab pulled up in front of a big brownstone, Zola's eyes had drifted shut and she was sleeping peacefully against Derek's shoulder. He carefully lifted her and stepped out of the cab, extending his hand to help me. The cab driver stood patiently by the side of his car next to our luggage; he'd pulled from the trunk.

"Sir…do you need a hand getting these into the house?" He asked kindly.

"No…it's OK. I've got it," Derek told him, handing him his fair and a generous tip. After the cab was gone, Derek picked up our bags and led the way up the path to the brownstone. We walked to the front door as the last rays of faint sunlight were lost among the sagging limbs of the oak trees to the west. Derek winked at me before he pressed his thumb to the doorbell. The response was almost immediate; the front door flew open and I found myself chest-to-chest with Derek's mom, "You're here…FINALLY!"

**…...**

"Would you've rather stayed at a hotel?" Derek asked in a soft voice while he propped his head on his hand, his elbow digging into the mattress. I looked up and studied his face, my gaze running down his forehead, dropping past his beautiful, blue eyes following the perfect lines of his handsome face before I slowly shook my head.

"Nope. As long as we're together, everything's fine!" I softly said. I slowly ran a finger across his lips, the skin soft and smooth, yielding gently to my touch. I returned my hand to his shoulder and slowly scooted closer to Derek. His breath fell against my skin while his hands reached up to my waist, holding me softly against him. His gaze dropped to my mouth as he moved nearer. I slightly opened my lips and closed my eyes as he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly. He ran his hands through my hair and in the silence of our first night in New York, we kissed for what seemed an eternity before we both drifted off to sleep, cradled in each other's arms.

_**Derek's POV**_

Toward dawn, light already peeked through the curtains when I awoke. I found myself pressed against Meredith's back. Carefully, I propped myself up and drew back the covers. With a tender smile, I glanced down Mer's body; her feminine curves, long slender legs and slightly protruding belly. I could watch her forever but pressed a kiss to her shoulder before I carefully covered her again. She stirred slightly but with a satisfied sigh, she rolled to her other side and slept on.

My footsteps echoed as I walked across the planked hallway towards the stairs. My mom sat in her favorite wicker chair, the newspaper folded in her lap as I entered the kitchen.

"Morning."

"Good morning son," my mom replied while she immediately rose to pour me a steaming mug of fresh-made coffee.

"Hmm…thanks mom."

Max came into the kitchen and sat down beside me, his tail wagging from side to side. His eyes, clouded with marbled blue cataracts gazed up at me. "Hey Max," I said, scratching my mom's old dog behind his ears.

"Did you sleep OK?" My mom asked.

I nodded and automatically focused my glance on her hands; her fingers curled around a mug of coffee as she brought it to her lips. My mom's hands were mapped with spots…_but still strong_, I thought tenderly; _strong, caring hands that had held me and my four sisters_.

"I've missed you, Derek," my mom said softly. "It has been too long." I nodded and leaned closer to kiss her cheek, "I know mom…I know and I'm sorry but I want you to know, I'm happy…very happy!" My mom smiled and touched my cheek, "I know son. I can see it in your eyes. Meredith is a lovely woman. I always knew she was the one for you…and that little girl," my mom slowly shook her head,"…she's precious!"

I grinned, "Yeah, she is." For a moment, we both grew silent then I softly said, "How's Max doing?"

"Hmm…not so great," my mom said, stroking the Lab's back. "Lately, he's having trouble going up and down the stairs."

"His depth perception is also gone," I said, lifting the dog's chin, studying his eyes.

"I think he misses children. It's too quiet around here," my mom mumbled quietly.

"Talking of children; Meredith's pregnant, mom, four months!" The words tumbled off my lips. My mom blinked but then her mouth cracked open into a wide smile, followed by a bright laugh. She grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and Meredith!" She hugged me before a twinkle entered her eyes. "You're sisters will be delighted to hear, you and Meredith have a baby on the way!"

**To be continued...**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy**

Chapter 16

_**Meredith's POV**_

"God…You have no idea how much, I've missed _**you**_!"

A pretty, petite woman stepped in, hooking her arms around my and Derek's shoulders, forcing us both into a tight hug.

"_Meredith_…I'd like you to meet my sister…Kathleen," Derek smiled while he tenderly kissed his sister's cheek.

"Nice to finally meet you Kathleen," I said as I extended my hand but she giggled and kissed my cheek with a loud smack, "No formalities…we're sisters!" She giggled excitedly.

"Now..." She said determinedly as she let go of me, "How long are you staying?"

"We'll fly back to Seattle, next Wednesday." Derek said as he watched his sister. "That's awesome," Kathleen's smile grew even bigger before she turned to me again. "Do you mind if I take a peek at Zola? I promise I won't wake her."

I nodded and before I knew what happened, Kathleen grabbed my hand and led the way to the stairwell.

…..

_We should have done this much earlier_. I thought to myself as I followed Kathleen back down. The sight of a sleeping Zola had visibly touched Derek's sister and she'd promised me, she would come to Seattle for a family visit real soon.

From a few stairs below her, Kathleen tossed a glance back at me and then she halted on the small landing between the flights of stairs. "Meredith…I'm glad _**you**_ came into Derek's life."

"I am too." I stopped, looking back at Kathleen. "I know it sounds like a cliché but Derek _**is**_ the love of my life."

Love glinted in Kathleen's gaze as she nodded. "Yeah, my brother's a great guy." I smiled and softly swatted Kathleen across the shoulder. "I know…believe me, I know!"

"Be sure to have mom take you on a tour of the house," Kathleen said as we neared the bottom of the stairwell. "I'm sure you'll love it."

"I'll take her on a tour later, Kathleen," Derek's mom cut in, meeting us in the hallway. "We don't have time for it now. Everyone's in the living room by the television. Nancy has a surprise for Meredith and Derek."

"Surprise?" I mumbled, feeling a little nervous all over sudden. "What kind of surprise?"

"Don't worry…it's just a collection of old photographs."

Derek's mom ushered us past the kitchen and several other rooms, I hadn't seen before. "If I remember correctly, there are also some cute ones of Derek."

Carolyn gestured us into the large cozy living room where Nancy had a laptop hooked to a large television screen. Nancy's husband sat at the computer while the rest of the family had gathered around the screen.

"Come in…the show's about to start," Nancy's husband urged us. I stood in the doorway and looked around. No seat was empty though so I hesitated. My eyes soon found Derek and he urged me to come over. His gaze lingered on my face and he smiled before rising slowly without breaking eye contact. "Take a seat…I'll sit on the floor." I'd felt reluctant to sit on his lap in front of his entire family but I bit my lower lip and caught his shoulders before he'd fully risen, pressing him back down. I softly whispered in his ear, "If you don't mind, I'd like to sit in your lap." Derek grinned while I sat down and he immediately wrapped his arms around my waist. I directed my gaze toward the TV screen and the lights in the living room were clicked off. Derek shifted his body in the chair, leaning me into a more comfortable position against his chest and shoulder but I never realized, he did this so he could study my face unnoticed.

First came a smiling group photo of the Shepherd family on the porch of the large brownstone." Derek whispered in my ear, "On the right…that's my dad!' I nodded. "You look a lot like him."

Photos flashed by of a Halloween party, when they'd decorated the Shepherd residence as a haunted house, Christmas time with the Shepherd clan, playing in the snow until suddenly a black and white photo came of a very young Derek, naked in the bath tub. I let out a delighted squeal, "Oh, you were so cute." I smiled while the others uttered teasing comments and shared hilarious anecdotes about every photo displayed; Kathleen teaching Derek how to dance. Derek hunting Nancy down with the garden house and finally a picture of the complete Shepherd family.

_**Derek's POV**_

It was a few minutes past midnight when my sisters and their husbands dispersed for the night. My mom waved everyone goodnight before she went upstairs too. I was brushing my teeth when Meredith entered the bedroom, a relaxing smile curving her lips. "Zola's sleeping like an angel. Everyone spoiled her rotten today…Oh Derek…why haven't done this earlier?"

I smiled, "Ah, so I guess…you like my family?"

"I love them…even Nancy."

I turned while Meredith slid her arms around my neck. I thrust my arm around her back, catching her behind the knees and sweeping her up into my arms. She clung to me, her hair cascading over my arm, her white night gown pushing high on her thighs while I carried her to the bed, ready to worship her there. I stripped away her night gown and filled my hands and my mouth with her. Feverish with need, I pinned her down beneath me, gritting my teeth and pushing deep into her, fierce hot pleasure taking our breath.

I thrust harder. Slower. Slick, hot and deep. Rhythmic.

Sweat dripped from my forehead and muffled groans rolled from my throat, seeing Meredith through a passionate haze; _beautiful…so damn beautiful_.

I forced her legs higher around my waist, levering my body for deeper access and driving inside her with serious intent. I loved her…needed her. Meredith's mouth opened while she licked her lips, her body moving with each deliberate, jolting thrust and her gaze sought mine. Pressure mounted within me, her velvet heat gripping me with tight contractions and finally the overwhelming pleasure took us deep into a state of ultimate satisfaction.

_**Meredith's POV**_

Fingers brushed through my hair and pushed tendrils back from my face while a warm nuzzling against my neck made me shiver. A familiar stubbly jaw rubbed against my cheek and the masculine scent of Derek's aftershave teased my senses. I slowly opened my eyes, Derek's face hovering over me.

"Hey," he greeted me.

While the memories of our passionate night slowly flooded back to me I smiled and ran my hand tenderly over the planes of his face, "Hey."

I realized quickly that Derek was sitting on the bed, not lying in it as I'd expected; in fact, he was already fully dressed, casually in a black shirt and an old pair of Levi's while I was lying naked beneath the sheets.

"My mom is waiting for us…with breakfast," Derek said in an answer to my unspoken questions. "Zola's downstairs with Kathleen…she's feeding her pancakes," he grinned. He leaned in and brushed his mouth alongside my ear. "You don't have to hurry," he whispered. "I just want a good morning kiss."

"A morning kiss?" My eyes widened and I caught his face between my hands to slow him down. _Not before I'd brushed my teeth_.

"No…ahah…no kiss."

I saw the boyish glint in Derek's eyes and knew he remembered I didn't like kissing him before we'd brushed our teeth but Derek tilted his face and advanced. With a protesting cry, I turned my head but he pinned my arms beside my head and dug his chin into my neck. I giggled and struggled while Derek slowly kissed his way to my face. A wrestling match started as it often had in mornings at our house. Those matches usually degenerated into breathless laughter and the sweetest early morning lovemaking but even then, I wouldn't kiss him before brushing my teeth. _A girl had to draw the line somewhere_. Derek soon had me shrieking in laughter from his playful attacks while I fended him off with shoulders, elbows and knees.

_Ring….ring…ring…_

The phone on the nightstand suddenly rang. Almost immediately the answering machine clicked on and Carolyn's voice sounded through the speaker, asking us to hurry. Derek grinned, raised up and reached for the bedside phone while I took the advantage and dashed from the bedroom into the adjoining bathroom. Moments after I'd locked the door, I heard Derek's voice from directly outside, "OK…you win. Brush your teeth but make it quick because I'm not leaving this bedroom without a kiss."

A giggle gurgled in my throat. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and combed my hair before sliding into the white bathrobe I'd left on the hook, "You're evil Derek Shepherd," I yelled through the door.

"You bring it out in me, "Derek yelled back. "Oh…and you have ten more seconds to open this door before I'll use my master key."

"You have a master key?" I opened the door and poked my head out but then I nodded. _Of course…this was his mom's house_.

Derek grinned, pulling me out of the doorway, bracing me against the bedroom wall and nipping at my mouth with light, smiling kisses before delving in more deeply. Our hearts thundered and we both had trouble letting each other go but eventually we parted, before someone would come check on us and find us in awkward positions. After a quick shower, we both went downstairs and I heard Carolyn's voice mingled with Kathleen's in the kitchen. Derek's mom stood near the sink while Kathleen was holding Zola.

"Morning," Derek grinned while we entered the kitchen. Kathleen placed her hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, "Hi…Mer."

"Good Morning. _Meredith_, do you like pancakes?"

"I'd love some."

Derek scooped Zola from Kathleen's arms and put her down on the kitchen floor so she could play but she had no intention in playing. She clung to Derek's legs and with a little helping push from him; she was sprawled across his lap. Derek bounced Zola up and down on his knees. It was a game the two of them had made their own. After a while, she slid off Derek's lap; her legs were still a little wobbly but you could tell it wouldn't take much longer before she would take her first steps. Derek grinned and picked Zola up, standing and throwing her up in the air, catching her easily as Zola squealed and giggled with delight. Derek played with her until she was exhausted; she was yawning and had trouble keeping her eyes open.

"Naptime, I guess," Derek murmured looking at me. I smiled and nodded. Zola's eyes were drooping once more, brilliant black hidden back black lashes as her head began to nod forward once more. She curled up closer to Derek, sticking her head under his chin and yawning as Derek carried her upstairs.

_**Derek's POV**_

After putting Zola down for her nap, I ran into Meredith in the hallway. I put an arm around her waist and pulled her close, gently placing a kiss on her cheek. "What do you want to do today?" Meredith shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not quite sure…I mean, Zola will wake in a few hours. There isn't much we can do." I smiled and whispered into her ear. "My mom and Kathleen volunteered to babysit…so I could show you the city. What do you think?" Meredith's eyes started sparkling and her lips curved into a wide smile. "Really? Oh…I'd love to see New York."

I grinned. "OK…New York it is!"

I grabbed Meredith's hand and together we walked downstairs, meeting my mom in the hall. She smiled and handed us our coats, "You two have a nice day…and don't worry about Zola. She's in good hands." Meredith leaned over and to my surprise, she placed a light kiss on my mom's cheek, "Thanks Carolyn."

**…..**

We strolled down 5th Avenue and made our way to Central Park. It had rained the night before and the air was saturated and heavy. When we arrived at Bethesda's terrace, a heavy fog lay over the lake. Meredith took in a deep breath, "What an amazing sight!"

I nodded and she snuggled a little closer to me.

"Are you cold?"

"A little," she admitted. I wrapped my arms around and pulled her closer to me so my body warmth could make up for the cold she was feeling. An idea sprang into my mind and I turned her toward me, "Have you ever been on a carriage ride?"

She shook her head and I led her to one of the empty carriages, helping her climb onto it. We went for a tour around Central Park and filly the driver stopped the carriage in front of the Empire State Building were we got off. We had dinner in a nice, little Italian restaurant and went dancing in one of the hottest clubs in town. It was a few minutes past midnight when our cab pulled up in front of my mom's house. Meredith had kicked off her shoes during the ride home and I scooped her up in my arms. I stumbled up the stairs and we made a stop to check at Zola, who was sleeping peacefully. Finally lying in bed, Meredith turned to me, brushing her hand along my chin.

"Today was amazing!"

I looked into Meredith's eyes and her green eyes gazed back at me; a tender smile gracing her lips as I pulled her closer for a goodnight kiss. My hands wandered down her back and she sighed satisfyingly as she snug closer to me.

"Would you please make love to me?" She whispered shy fully. My eyes darkened at her request and I nodded, getting rid of my boxers and lifting Meredith's nightgown. I slowly slid myself inside her. She was so ready for me…this was how our day should end and we both felt it. I began to stroke in and out of her at a slow and steady pace, kissing her deeply. She moaned softly, pushing her hips up to meet mine. Our hands clasped together as we found the perfect rhythm. I moved to kiss Meredith's neck, stroking deeper into her. She arched herself to me, whimpering low in her throat. My lips found hers again, parting them and slipping my tongue inside. I sped up the pace as we explored each other's mouths. I felt my body heat rise and as Meredith's feminine muscles clenched around me, I knew she was close too. Our breathing became laboured as we climaxed simultaneously and I captured her lips again with mine, kissing her deeply. I eventually pulled away, shaking a little as I came down from our wave of ecstasy. Meredith's lips quivered and I kissed her again, tenderly pushing away a strand of hair from her face. I looked down on her and the sound of our breathing softened as it slowly returned to normal.

"I love you," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her again.

"I love you too," Meredith answered before our lips met again. She reached a hand to my face and tenderly stroked my cheek.

_Light was already dawning when we finally drifted off to sleep…_

_Less than two more week until the next season...I hope we get some TLC between our favorite couple. Wishing y'all a nice weekend..._

_McJinx_


	17. Chapter 17 Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Hey guys,**

**This week our favorite TV show starts again with season 8. I hope you've enjoyed my little fanfic helping you through the summer ;-) I've written one last chapter...a sort of future epilogue. I hope you enjoy it and please spare the time for a last comment. When the series starts again, I'll keep writing epilogues so I won't be gone completely. **

**Have fun watching Grey's and hope to see you all again!**

**Love**

**McJinx**

**Epilogue**

_**Meredith's POV**_

"How long before it comes mom? Honestly, I cannot wait any longer. I just want to know if peanut's a boy or a girl!"

"Well, I guess I don't have any say in it. Your baby brother or sister will come when _**he**_ or _**she**_ is ready," I responded to Zola's excited chatter. As a matter of fact, I was guilty of evasion because I'd been having tiny contractions all morning. Zola's and George's baby brother or sister was definitely ready to come into this world today. I had already called Derek to let him know, he had to take me to the hospital.

"I can help when the baby's here, huh mommy?"(Five-year-old) George asked, while he crossed the living room to give me a hug. I smiled. George was the spitting image of Derek. Their colouring was the same and they both had the same perfect dark hair and matching blue eyes.

"Sure you can sweetie…You both can help!" I responded. I brushed George's curls from his face when the doorbell rang.

"I'm coming," I said, patting a stray lock of my hair into place as I crossed the living room. I flung open the door and my mouth dropped at the sight of Derek, Lexie and Marc who were standing on the threshold. Derek stepped inside and chuckled, "I'm sorry. Forgot my keys. You OK?"

"I'm fine. My contractions are still minutes apart." My voice was rendered breathless by Derek's speedy homecoming and a sweet flutter of pleasure coursed through me at the sight of Lexie and Marc, who'd volunteered to watch our kids. Marc was carrying, Sarah their two month old daughter while their three year old son, Marc JR clang to Lexie's legs.

….

Lexie and I sat down at the kitchen table while Derek went outside to get his Jeep. I stole a peek at Lexie as she slipped a few chocolate chip cookies off the glass platter in the centre of the kitchen and handed them to the children. I winked at her and then whispered, "I'm a bit nervous."

The kids ran around the dining room, chattering happily, stuffed animals clutched in their little hands. Zola paced the floor and jiggled Marc JR in her arms, who was clearly having the time of his life.

"Lex? I really think you need to handle this one here." Marc leaned over Lexie's shoulder and lowered little Sarah into her arms. Lexie gently jostled the fussing baby. "You'll be fine Mere…once they place that baby into your arms, you'll completely forget about the delivery." Lexie opened the buttons of her blouse, pulled down the flap on her bra and put Sarah to her breast. I watched in fascination as the baby latched on immediately and started sucking greedily.

"Oh…crap, this hurts!" I suddenly slumped over and clutched my pregnant belly; the contractions were coming faster. Luckily, the children hadn't noticed and while Derek went upstairs to get my bag, I let Marc led me to the Jeep.

"Don't worry about the kids," he assured me. "They're in good hands."

Sweat beaded on my forehead and started to trickle down my face. "I know Marc…and thanks again!"

"Yeah man…thanks!"

Derek opened the back of the Jeep and tossed my bag inside. In the rear view mirror I noticed Marc kept looking until our tail lights disappeared into the black night. Our third child was about to come into the world.

_**Derek's POV**_

"Eight…nine…ten," I lowered Meredith to the birthing room bed. "You're doing great honey!" _**I**_, myself would do a lot better if Meredith would release her death grip on my left hand. I wiped a damp cloth across her forehead with my free hand, then I stroked her arm. "Relax, Mer…relax your fingers."

Meredith let go of my hand and opened her eyes. They shot fire at me, "Why don't you get into this bed and try to relax!" She snapped at me. I smiled at her while I wiggled my fingers in an attempt to restore circulation.

"The bed looks fairly comfortable," I smiled soothingly.

"Then get in it and let me fold you up in a position that would make a gymnast cry, and while you're at it, you can squeeze out a melon through your…!"

"_**Meredith**_!" I felt my cheeks blush while the nurses in the room started laughing. The nurse standing closest to Meredith, giggled, "That's a perfect way of putting it, Dr. Shepherd." Meredith's eyes widened and then her nostrils flared as she dragged in a deep breath. I recognised the expression and knew what it meant. I pulled on Meredith's arms, bracing her in an upright position, "Alright…push baby…push!" I started counting while Meredith struggled in my arms.

"I can't," she whimpered. "I can't do it anymore. I've changed my mind. You can have your baby!"

Miranda who'd entered the birthing room softly chuckled but it luckily it was muffled by her mask, "It's a little late to change your mind, Meredith. Come on, you can do this. Come on…PUSH!"

I lowered my mouth to Meredith's ear, "You can do it honey. Come on…_push_!" Meredith grabbed my hand and squeezed as she bore down, labouring to bring our baby into the world. I winced inside at the pressure of her death grip but knew better than to complain.

"That's it. The baby's crowning…you're almost there!" Miranda reported. A few more contractions and intensive effort on Meredith's part and Miranda announced that the baby's head was born.

"Forget the head…get the rest out," Meredith gasped while the birthing room erupted in laughter.

"Almost…Meredith. Just a little more," Miranda soothed. "I've got the shoulders. Now…just one good push and your baby's here!"

"Aaaaarrgh." The cry wrenched from Meredith, ended on a note of relief and I glanced down to watch our third child enter the world.

"It's a girl!" Miranda said. She placed the wriggling, crying baby on Meredith's belly and my heart kicked against my ribs. _We had another daughter_; the thin piercing wail of the baby was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

"Oh, sweetie," Meredith sighed, reaching out a finger toward the infant. "Happy Birthday!" The nurses swooped in to claim the baby for cleaning, weighing and all the other necessary medical steps but they promised a speedy return. Meredith slumped back in bed while I brushed a sweat-soaked tendril of hair from her face, then I leaned over to kiss her. She playfully smacked me. "Get away from me with those lips. Those lips are nothing but trouble." I grinned but ignored her, placing another kiss on her forehead. "Thanks," I murmured, "…for another beautiful baby!" Her face softened as she smiled at me, "We make beautiful babies…don't we?"

"Definitively!" I pressed my lips in a tender caress on her forehead. Meredith closed her eyes while Miranda took care of the final procedures, including a few stitches. I averted my gaze for that, grimacing empathically. A few moments later, the nurse came back with our daughter, swaddled in a pink blanket, "Here you go, mom. Eight pounds, two ounces and twenty inches long!" She carefully placed the bundle in Meredith's arms and I bent closer to gently stroke the silky skin of my new born daughter's cheek.

"She's beautiful…just like her mom."

"Have you named her yet, Doctor Shepherd?"

Meredith shook her head, "I want her to have a nice name. Something pretty but not too unusual." Meredith ran a fingertip over the baby's hair; a blonde fuzz.

"Peanut, what's your name? We cannot call you peanut all the time…can we?" The children and I had referred to peanut whenever we spoke of the baby inside Meredith's womb. The baby waved a tiny fist in the air as Meredith happily announced, "I know…Jillian! When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a Jill. We'll call her Jillian. It's pretty and it's different…but not too different."

"Jillian," I smiled. "Jillian Shepherd. I tenderly touched my daughter's head. "Sounds good. Now…shall I go and tell the family? They've probably taken over the waiting room." Meredith smiled while tears welled in her eyes, "Yes…go tell the family and call your mom. Then…while you're at it, tell Cristina, she owes me a twenty."

"A Twenty?"

"Yeah," Meredith giggled, "She bet peanut was gonna be a boy." I grinned and planted another kiss on Meredith's forehead. "You OK?"

She nodded, "Yeah…go get our children. I cannot wait to show them their new baby sister."

_**Meredith's POV**_

When Derek had left the room, I leaned over the crib where Jillian lay. I reached out my hand and cupped the tiny head of hair; blonde and fine, like mine. _Would it stay that way_?

I stroked my daughter's soft cheek, "Hey sweetpea…I'm so glad you're finally here." I whispered, looking down into the alert, little face that was still a little red and wrinkled. Jillian gazed back at me with eyes that definitely reminded me of my own. I smiled and touched a gentle finger to Jillian's soft cheek and the small head turned. Opening her mouth, Jillian began to work her lips against my finger, than she began to whimper. At that exact moment, Miranda entered the room and lifted the baby from her crib, "She's hungry."

I nodded while Jillian's cries echoed through the room. Miranda carefully placed Jillian in my arms and I pulled up my shirt. I winced at the sudden, unexpected pain that flashed through my nipple as Jillian began to suck but the discomfort only lasted a second then I looked down in wonder at the tiny mouth pulling on my breast. She drank for about twenty minutes and I'd just taken her to my chest for a burp when the door burst open and Zola and George stormed in, heading straight for the baby in my arms.

"Oh…she so cute!" Zola cooed.

"She's little…and wrinkled." George said.

Zola sat down on the bed and admired the baby in my arms while George hopped from one foot to the other, clearly impressed by the sight of the little bundle in my arms. I patted on the bed and George sat down next to me. I tipped his face up to mine and softly asked, "So? What do you think of your baby sister?"

George shrugged his shoulders, "She's OK…I guess." I smiled and caught Derek's gaze who was standing at my feet,

"Come on guys," He said. "Mommy and Jillian need their sleep. I'll take you home and tomorrow we'll come back and pick up mommy and Jillian…OK?" Zola and George hopped off the bed but I called them back, puckering my lips, "Can I have a kiss?" They both kissed me and Jillian good night while Derek brushed my hair aside, "I'll be back in a flash…OK?" I nodded and watched how they left before my gaze travelled back to Jillian who was lying satisfyingly in my arms.

_**Derek's POV**_

An hour later, I glanced through the window. Meredith had her eyes closed and I carefully pushed down the door handle but before I was inside, she'd already opened her eyes. She sighed wearily, "I can't sleep."

I smiled and lay down beside her on the small bed, "Better?"

"Much better," she murmured as she rubbed her cheek against my chest.

"Just close your eyes." I lifted a lock of Meredith's hair and let it sift through my fingers. "It's raining," Meredith murmured, lifting her head to glance out the window at the sky, darkened by big clouds. We both listened to the raindrops, clattering against the window until I noticed Meredith's steady breathing; she'd fallen asleep. I carefully kissed her cheek before lifting myself from the bed. Meredith needed a good night's sleep and I'd offered to pull a night shift to be close to her when she needed me.

_**Lexie's POV**_

"You want what?" I asked, looking across the table at my niece.

"I want Jillian to come home…and mommy and daddy!" Zola shovelled another mouthful of soggy M&M's into her mouth. George looked at his sister, his brow lifted for a moment before he nodded, "Me TOO!"

With a sigh, I bit into my toast, looking at Zola and George, "They'll come home soon but I don't know how late exactly."

"I want them now," Zola insisted, her face screwing up for either a tantrum or a cry. George spooned more M&M's into his mouth, his gaze ping-ponging back and forth between me and his older sister before he nodded, "Zola's right…I want mom and dad home too!" I bit my bottom lip and sighed, "OK, when you two are dressed, we'll give daddy a call, OK?"

"Yay," Zola yelled. The kids finished their breakfast in record time and ran upstairs to change out of their PJ's. I went up the stairs after ten minutes or so to see how they were doing. I peeked around the corner and watched my niece and nephew trying to dress themselves and each other. They'd picked one of their favourite matching outfits; a light blue jeans overall on George and a jeans skirt on Zola. Underneath they wore white long-sleeved T-shirts. "Well, don't you two look great!" I smiled while I entered the bedroom. Proud grins dimpled their little faces and I leaned down, lending in a hand with the tucking in of the shirts. "Did you guys brush your teeth?" Their guilty looks explained they didn't, so I playfully swatted both bottoms, "Scoot!"

When they were finished, I brushed George's black curls and French braided Zola's hair. "Now…run downstairs and I'll be there as soon as I get dressed." When I was ready, I hurried down the stairs to join my niece and nephew. Zola had already taken the phone and George was standing beside her, hopping from one foot to the other. I took over the phone and speed dialled Derek's number. The phone rang but there was no response until Derek's familiar voice announced whoever was calling, could leave a message.

"Where's daddy…aunt Lexie?"

"I'm afraid you cannot talk to daddy. He's not answering his phone." I hoped the kids wouldn't be too disappointed but Zola's head sank down and George had turned his head. I sighed but then a thought crossed my mind, "Who would like to make brownies? We can surprise mommy and daddy when they come home!"

"Really? We can make them ourselves?" Zola asked in disbelief. A grin transformed George's face. Double chocolate, chocolate chip, marshmallow brownies!

I kneeled down in front of Zola and lifted her chin, "What do you say Zola. Want to bake some brownies?"

Zola's arms wrapped trustingly around my neck and she softly whispered, "Can I make the batter?"

I pressed a kiss on Zola's cheek and lifted her onto my hip, "Sure you can!" We went to the kitchen and in no time we were able to make an enormous batch of chocolate brownies. When I'd put them in the oven, Zola and George crawled in front of the oven but I shook my head, "The oven is hot and very dangerous. How about a story?"

Their frowns became smiles and we walked into the living room. When Zola and George were settled on the couch, I sat down between them; "Alright sweeties, which story? Your favourite, I guess?" The kids both nodded and I picked up a copy of Peter Pan.

_Mrs. Wendy was a grown woman, and as sensible as can be. She had a tidy mind. For six days in any week she strongly disapproved of dreams littering up the house. But on the seventh, she was not quite so sure. Recently she had begun hurrying to bed, eager for that twilight flicker that comes between waking and sleep. From behind closed eyelids she would watch for a dream to come floating towards her, just as once she had watched at her bedroom window, hoping against hope for a small figure to come swooping through the local stars. Each bedtime her heart beat faster at the thought of glimpsing the Lagoon again, or hearing the cry of the Neverbird. Above all, she longed to see Peter again: the friend she had left behind in Neverland all those years before._

The children and I were so caught up in the story, it was a long moment before any of us realized there was someone knocking on the front door. With a little jolt of anger from being disturbed from the story, George glanced at the front door, hoping whoever was knocking would vanish into thin air but the pounding on the door became even louder. I put down the book and watched George padding across the room on his bare feet opening the door. To our surprise, Derek was standing there, "Finally, I thought you wouldn't open the door?"

"Daddy…you're HOME!" Zola made a soft mewling cry and flew into Derek's open arms. He braced himself from falling as he met his excited children. He kissed their cheeks and wrapped his arms around them.

Zola was the first that lifted her head as she glanced over Derek's shoulder, "Where's mo…?" Zola stopped abruptly, her eyes rounding with excitement as she focused on the person that appeared on the doorstep.

"MOMMY!"

Zola slipped out of Derek's arms and ran towards Meredith. Mere bent her knees and Zola threw herself into her mom's arms, "You're home!" Derek rose from the floor and kissed my cheek, "Hey Lex…thanks for taking care of the children!" I pinked away a tear from the corner of my eye and nodded, "Where's the baby?"

"She's still in the car." I went outside with Derek and when he unpacked the car, I unstrapped the new born baby from her car seat.

"Oh…Derek, she's beautiful."

"Yeah, she is…Must be, she's the spitting image of Meredith." I nodded and when I stepped inside the house a few moments later, I was surrounded by Zola and George.

"Hi sis," Zola and George softly whispered. I looked up and met Meredith's and Derek's gaze. I could see the love in their eyes and knew a new chapter in their life had begun.

**THE END**


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